As a teenager, you go through many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes. The biggest change is puberty, the process of becoming sexually mature. It usually happens between ages 10 and 14 for girls and ages 12 and 16 for boys. As your body changes, you may have questions about sexual health.

During this time, you start to develop your own unique personality and opinions. Some changes that you might notice include

• Increased independence from your parents
• More concerns about body image and clothes
• More influence from peers
• Greater ability to sense right and wrong

All of these changes can sometimes seem overwhelming. Some sadness or moodiness can be normal. But feeling very sad, hopeless, or worthless could be warning signs of a mental health problem. If you need help, talk to your parents, school counselor, or health care provider.

Adolescence is a time of enormous transition. Although adolescence may appear to be a turbulent time, it’s also a period of great potential as young people engage more deeply with the world around them. Adolescents typically grow physically, try new activities, begin to think more critically, and develop more varied and complex relationships.

The Office of Population Affairs worked with the Johns Hopkins University, Bloomberg School of Public Health, Center for Adolescent Health to create Adolescent Development Explained, a guide that examines the major developmental changes that occur in adolescence and provides suggestions on how parents and caring adults can support young people as they navigate through this critical period. It builds on The Teen Years Explained: A Guide to Healthy Adolescent Development, the seminal report also developed by the Center for Adolescent Health, as well as on other important sources of information. The guide specifically focuses on five areas of adolescent development:

1. Physical – hormonal changes and development

2. Cognitive – changes in the way the brain functions

3. Emotional – how adolescents process emotions and stress

4. Social – changes in familial, social, and romantic relationships

5. Morals and values – how adolescents view and approach the world

It’s important to note that these five areas often overlap and intersect. For instance, adolescents who are struggling with depression and/or anxiety also can experience problems with their school work, parents, peers, and physical health, and may lose interest in activities they used to enjoy. Adults need to understand this complexity, respond in a supportive way, and seek professional help for such adolescents if needed.

For each of the five areas of development, parents and professionals will learn about:

1. Changes that are a normal and necessary part of adolescence

2. Different ways that adolescents experience these changes and reasons for this variation

3. How adults can support adolescents’ optimal health and development by guiding young people and helping them build the skills they need to thrive

Parents and other adults who care for and work with adolescents must learn about adolescent development and continuously educate themselves about the realities of adolescent lives today. Teens’ lives are complex, can change quickly, and can present issues that did not exist (e.g., social media) or were not fully acknowledged (e.g., mental health disorders) for prior generations of adolescents. If parents and caring adults understand the challenges and opportunities that adolescents face today, they can provide more effective support and encouragement for the young people in their professional and personal lives.

General Physical Changes Adolescents Experience

Although some of the physical changes that happen during adolescence are internal and not visible, others can be seen easily by others. These obvious changes in the body can affect how adults and peers of both sexes view and treat young people.

The changes that occur both inside and outside the body during adolescence happen through a process called “puberty.” This process stems from the release of certain hormones (chemicals) in the brain. These hormones released are the same in all adolescents, but differences in hormone levels lead to different results in males and females. The physical changes in adolescents shift them from their childhood bodies to their adult bodies and give them the ability to get pregnant or cause pregnancy. This ability to get pregnant or cause pregnancy is called “fertility.”

Anyone who looks at an adolescent male and female side by side will see some clear differences. Still, adolescents of both sexes exhibit many changes in common, most notably, growth spurts in height and weight. During these growth spurts, bones and muscles get longer and stronger, which allows adolescents to take on tasks they were likely not able to do as younger children, such as lifting heavy objects and walking, running, or biking long distances. Many young people will reach their full adult height by the end of puberty. Beyond the growth spurts, other physical changes that happen in both males and females include body odor, acne, and more body hair.

As noted above, many of the physical changes in adolescence are related to fertility. Some adolescents may be embarrassed by these changes at first, but they need to know that they happen to everyone. Consider this short list:

Females will see changes in where fat appears on their body. For example, breasts become fuller and hips grow wider. Females typically experience their first menstruation (or period) during adolescence. Early on, periods can be irregular and affected by illness, stress, and even exercise.

Males’ shoulders become broader and their muscles get bigger. The penis and testicles also grow, and males will begin to experience erections and ejaculations, both voluntary and involuntary (sometimes happening while asleep). Males’ voices also deepen during this time and may crack during the shift.

Beyond developing fertility, these visible sex-specific changes also let others know that a person is no longer a child. It is important to note that while the physical changes that adolescents experience happen to everyone, the timing and order of these changes will vary from person to person.

Unique Issues in Physical Development

Although the major physical development milestones of adolescence happen to everyone, the timing of these milestones varies a lot, both between and within the sexes.

Some adolescents exhibit physical signs of maturity sooner than their peers, and others exhibit them later. For example, the visible physical changes in males often begin a couple of years after they begin in females. The timing of a female’s first period also varies: girls can start their period as early as 8 and as late as 16.

These differences can be hard for adolescents: they may feel self-conscious, or worry that they don’t fit in if they don’t look like others their age. These variations also can lead to other people treating adolescents in a way that does not match their cognitive or emotional development. For instance, females who develop visible curves or males whose voices change during middle school may be treated more like older teenagers by both their peers and adults, even if they do not have the cognitive or emotional maturity of older teenagers. In contrast, adolescents who exhibit physical changes later than their peers may be treated like younger children, even though they are more mature cognitively and emotionally. Some research suggests that youth who experience faster physical development are more likely to engage in risk-taking behavior than their peers and that teens who develop more slowly than their peers may be more likely to face bullying.

Many factors can be responsible for differences in the timing and results of adolescents’ physical changes, such as:

Genes. A person’s genetic makeup can affect the timing of puberty and what the changes look like.

Diet/nutrition and exercise before and during adolescence. Overweight females, for example, are more likely to have their first period and experience breast development at younger ages than their peers.

Chronic illnesses. Conditions such as cystic fibrosis, asthma, diabetes, or bowel problems also can contribute to delays in growth and puberty because of nutrient deficiencies, toxin excess, and/or medication side effects.

Substance use. Smoking or using other drugs can harm adolescents’ growth and development. Smoking can stunt lung growth and make it harder to grow strong bones.¹

Development in other areas. Variations in cognitive, emotional, social, and/or moral development also can influence and be influenced by physical changes in adolescence. For instance, those who look different than their peers (e.g., being overweight or underweight) are at a higher risk of being bullied by peers.

How Parents and Caring Adults Can Support Physical Development

Here are some ways that parents and other caring adults can support adolescents through these physical changes:

Let adolescents know that what they are going through is normal. Although “normal” development covers a wide range, even older adolescents (and sometimes, their parents) are concerned with “fitting in.” Remind teens that despite their concerns, their personal developmental path is okay, even if it is different from that of their peers. People develop at different times and not all bodies will look the same even when fully developed. Variation is not at all unusual.

Encourage adolescents to have a positive view of their bodies. Beyond reassuring that the timing of changes in the body varies from person to person, parents and caring adults can help adolescents appreciate their own bodies and developmental experiences. Reminding teens that they are valued and accepted no matter how they look can help nurture self-respect and self-esteem in adolescents and counter negative body image issues or other anxieties.

Help adolescents eat well. Parents and other adults play a large role in adolescents’ nutrition, by modeling healthy eating, following dietary guidelines, and making sure adolescents have access to healthy foods. Keeping healthy snacks at home and limiting junk food goes a long way to promoting solid nutrition. Consider preparing and sharing meals with your teen to promote healthy eating.

Get active with adolescents. As with healthy eating, parents and caring adults can model physical activity, making it easier for adolescents to avoid becoming “couch potatoes.” If able, parents can go on walks or bike rides with their adolescent or just toss around a ball. If a teen is competitive or very social, parents can help the teen to sign up for a sport at school or in a community league. For video game fans, parents can select games that involve physical activity, such as Just Dance. The President’s Council on Sports, Fitness & Nutrition offers additional resources so parents can help teens stay fit and healthy.

Teach adolescents to avoid drugs. It’s important for parents to talk to adolescents about how smoking and other drug use can hurt their health and keep them from growing strong and to lead by example. Check out the National Institute on Drug Abuse for Teens website for more information, including videos, games, and blog posts.

Make sure adolescents get enough sleep. Sleep helps adolescents grow and strengthen their bodies and perform better in school, sports, and other activities. Strategies for parents include having a “lights out” rule, limiting the number of electronic devices (e.g., cell phone, computer) in a teen’s bedroom, and encouraging routines that help adolescents relax at the end of the day, such as reading a book before bed.

Show adolescents how to discuss and maintain their health. Adolescents should receive regular healthcare, including vaccines and preventive care, such as “well visits.” Parents and other adults also can help adolescents by giving them the skills to comfortably and effectively communicate with doctors and other healthcare professionals, as well as time alone with healthcare providers to discuss health concerns in private. This support matters even more for adolescents who have chronic conditions or disabilities.

General Cognitive Changes Adolescents Experience

Cognitive development refers to changes in the brain that prepare people to think and learn. Just as in early childhood, brains in adolescence undergo a lot of growth and development. These changes will reinforce adolescents’ abilities to make and carry out decisions that will help them thrive now and in the future. The brain grows and strengthens itself in three ways:

1. Growing new brain cells. Adolescence is one of the few times in which the brain produces a large number of cells at a very fast rate. In fact, the brain creates many more cells than will be needed. The extra brain cells give adolescents more places to store information, which helps them learn new skills.
2. Pruning some of the extra growth. The disadvantage of having extra brain cells is that they also decrease the brain’s efficiency. As adolescents go to school, live, and work, the brain trims down the extra growth based on the parts of the brain the adolescent actively uses. This pruning process creates a brain structure than enables adolescents to easily access the information they use most.
3. Strengthening connections. The connections between brain cells are what enable the information stored in the brain to be used in daily life. The brain strengthens these connections by wrapping a special fatty tissue around the cells to protect and insulate them. These changes help adolescents recall information and use it efficiently.

As fast as the changes happen, these processes take time. Different sections of the brain develop at different times, with the part of the brain responsible for abstract thinking, planning, and decision making developing last. Overall, the brain is not fully developed and protected until people are in their mid-twenties.

The changes in the adolescent brain affect adolescents’ thinking skills. Specifically, young people gain these advantages as the brain grows, prunes, and strengthens connections:

Enhanced learning. New synapses, or gaps between nerve cells through which impulses are transmitted, make the adolescent brain a learning machine that can absorb facts, ideas, and skills.

Abstract thinking. Young children mostly understand only things that can be seen or touched. They may understand a portion of abstract ideas, such as love, justice, or fractions, but their understanding is of limited scope. As the brain develops in adolescence, a young person gains a broader understanding of more abstract ideas.

Advanced reasoning. Children generally have limited reasoning that focuses on the information at hand. In contrast, adolescents can predict the results of their actions by using logic to imagine multiple options and different situations. This new ability helps young people plan for their future and consider how their choices will affect that future.

Metacognition. Another new skill adolescents develop is “thinking about thinking”—or metacognition. This practice enables youth to reflect on how they came to an answer or conclusion. This new skill also helps adolescents think about how they learn best and find ways to improve how they absorb new information.

Adolescence is an ideal time in a person’s life to gain and maintain new skills. The changes in the brain and how they shape a young person’s thinking help prepare adolescents for adult decision-making. Still, parents and other caring adults should remember that the teen brain is not fully developed. In particular, teens may struggle with impulse control and may be more likely to make decisions based on emotions than on logic. In addition, an adolescent’s thinking and decision-making processes may vary from day to day. By keeping these issues in mind, adults can provide the support adolescents need as their brains develop.

Unique Issues in Cognitive Development

Cognitive development, much like physical development, happens at a different pace for every adolescent. As a result, adolescents of the same age may not have the same thinking and reasoning skills. Additionally, brain development occurs at a different rate than physical development, which means that an adolescent’s thinking may not match the adolescent’s appearance. Here are some other factors that affect how adolescents’ brains develop and how adolescents think:

1. Learning styles and multiple intelligences. Every adolescent learns and processes information in a different way. Adolescents may find that some academic subjects are easier for them to learn or are more interesting than others. Education theories suggest that presenting information and assessing learning in multiple ways helps young people with different learning styles.
2. Disabilities. A learning disability—such as auditory processing disorder, dyslexia, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)— can affect cognitive development. Challenges will differ based on the disability, but being aware of the issues can help adults link adolescents to the proper tools and resources so they can thrive. Furthermore, under the federal law, Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), K-12 public schools must provide accommodations for students with disabilities, including learning disabilities. Parents also can support their children’s special learning. College students with disabilities can obtain supports through the Americans with Disabilities Act.
3. Trauma. For some adolescents, brain development might be more difficult because of earlier or ongoing trauma. The brain reacts to the environment. Experiencing violence, neglect, or abuse can stunt brain growth. Being aware of trauma and its potential impact, whether in early childhood or in adolescence, and helping adolescents cope, can go a long way in improving young people’s well-being.
4. Mental health disorders. Many mental health disorders first appear during adolescence, in part because of changes in physical brain development. An adolescent struggling with mental health challenges may have decreased motivation and have a harder time with cognitive tasks, such as planning and decision-making. Adults can support adolescents by watching out for mental health warning signs and providing teens who face mental health challenges with treatment.
5. Substance use. Substance use can greatly hinder adolescents’ potential by slowing and stunting brain development. The brain also is especially vulnerable to addiction at this stage of life. Use of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs in the teen years is associated with increased risk for adult substance use disorders. In contrast, if teens abstain from certain substances (such as tobacco), they are less likely to use these substances as adults.

One of the biggest changes and challenges in adolescence is an increase in risk-taking. Cognitive development during adolescence predisposes young people to take more risks than adults, and taking risks is an important part of growing up. Trying new things gives adolescents the chance to have experiences that will help them make the transition to their independent adult lives, such as finding a career, starting their own family, or moving to new places.

As adolescents’ brains develop and new cognitive skills emerge, the ability to reason and think through consequences takes a leap forward. In fact, adolescents can even match adults’ abilities in assessing risk, but adolescents do not always make the healthiest decisions because factors other than risk assessment, such as their emotions or the social rewards, come into play. Adults can help protect adolescents from unhealthy risks by being aware of these factors and creating environments that guide young people to healthy choices:

1. Differing rewards. Because the back of the adolescent brain develops before the front, the parts of the brain that handle rewards form stronger connections before the parts that manage impulse control. This gap means that even if adolescents know the risks for the future, they may still place a higher value on a short-term reward. For example, if a young person attends a party where there is drinking, he or she may understand the risk of underage or binge drinking but value the reward of social acceptance more.
2. “Hot” vs “cold” cognition environments. Another element that affects adolescent decisions is whether they have to make a choice in a “hot” or “cold” environment. A “hot cognition” situation is one in which a decision needs to be made quickly or in the heat of the moment. A “cold cognition” situation is one in which adolescents have time to reflect and weigh their options. Hot cognition environments also tend to have more emotions tied to them. Adults can help adolescents to make positive decisions by encouraging them to think through situations in cold cognition environments and practice what to do in the heat of the moment.
3. Sensation seeking. Adolescents vary in how much risk they want to take. Some adolescents consciously seek out sensations, meaning that they greatly enjoy new, stimulating experiences and look for them. Looking for these experiences does not make them bad at decision-making or suggest that they will turn to negative health behaviors. Adults can support these adolescents by providing them with positive opportunities that challenge and stimulate them.

How Parents and Caring Adults Can Support Cognitive Development

Much of cognitive development is influenced by what is happening physically in adolescents’ brains. Still, parents and other caring adults can support optimal health and development by helping adolescents apply some of their new thinking abilities and offering support in the areas where the adolescent still has room to grow. Here are some ways parents and other adults working in healthcare, education, and community programs can help:

Ask open-ended questions on complex issues. Adolescents are eager to improve their abstract thinking skills. Asking probing questions, such as, “What did you think about [x event]?” or “How would you have approached [y situation] differently?” and following up with an adolescent in a nonjudgmental manner can jump-start an adolescent’s reasoning and abstract thinking skills. Adults can further engage adolescents in developing aspects of higher cognition by giving them opportunities to plan and organize events. For example, a parent may ask an adolescent to plan a specific family activity.

Help adolescents consider consequences of actions at multiple time points. Adolescents sometimes have difficulty weighing future risks versus immediate rewards, especially in the heat of the moment. By asking adolescents to think through the pros and cons of various actions both in the short term and long term, adults can help adolescents to improve their future-thinking capacity. For example, ask an adolescent to think about the benefits and drawbacks of staying up late with friends versus going to sleep earlier on a school night.

Provide more learning opportunities that entail healthy risks. Taking risks can be healthy and promote growth. Healthy risks can include trying a new activity such as a new sport or art project, taking challenging classes, or getting involved with the community. Encouraging healthy risks and distinguishing them from negative risks (like substance use or driving dangerously) can give adolescents skills needed to assess and cope with risk.

Encourage healthy sleep habits. Adolescents need a lot of sleep so their brains can function well. During sleep, the brain aids in memory and learning functions. A good night’s rest also is associated with improvements in focus and energy and is a protective factor against depression, anxiety, and substance use. Experts recommend that teens get eight to 10 hours of sleep a night, but less than 30 percent of high school students report getting at least eight hours of sleep. Brain changes shift an adolescent’s sleep cycle, and for many adolescents, it is hard to fall asleep before 11 p.m. However, the average school start time is at 8 a.m. This combination of staying up late and getting up early makes it difficult for adolescents to get the amount of rest they need. Parents can help adolescents build healthy sleep habits by setting routines and encouraging practices such as limiting electronic devices in the bedroom.

Promote injury prevention. Help adolescents protect their brain during a time of rapid and crucial development. Adolescents should be encouraged to take safety precautions to prevent concussions and other brain injuries. These precautions include always wearing a seatbelt when driving and a helmet when participating in sports and outdoor activities such as biking, skating, skiing, or rock-climbing. Furthermore, if an adolescent does participate in a team sport, parents, coaches, and other caring adults should understand the risks and learn how to spot potential brain injuries.

Seek out opportunities for teens to engage as learners. A great way for adolescents to learn and improve their cognitive abilities is for them to look for opportunities to put their new skills to the test in a leadership capacity. Adolescents can find learning and leadership activities that help them develop foresight, vision, and planning skills through their schools, extracurricular activities, communities, or at home. Parents and other caring adults can suggest different activities and facilitate adolescents’ participation (e.g., by helping them find a way to get to and from a club).

Support adolescents with learning disabilities. If parents think an adolescent is struggling academically, they should make sure the adolescent is screened. The earlier a professional can diagnose a learning disability, the sooner the young person can receive assistance. Furthermore, adults can work with schools and healthcare providers to make sure students with learning disabilities have the skills and support they need for success.

General Emotional Changes Adolescents Experience

Healthy emotional development is marked by a gradually increasing ability to perceive, assess, and manage emotions. This is a biological process driven by physical and cognitive changes and heavily influenced by context and environment. During adolescence young people generally become more aware of their own feelings and the feelings of others, but these perceptions may still be tenuous. Adults sometimes expect adolescents to keep their emotions from interfering with performance in school, work, and other activities, but doing so may be challenging in a complex environment. Some adolescents may be excited to take on new challenges as they become more independent, whereas others may need more support to build their confidence. The process of emotional development gives adolescents the opportunity to build skills, discover unique qualities, and develop strengths for optimal health.

Factors that affect how well adolescents navigate this process include:

1. Hormones. These critical chemicals in the brain that bring about physical changes also affect adolescents’ moods and heighten their emotional responses. These characteristics together mean that teens are more easily swayed by emotion and have difficulty making decisions that adults find appropriate. Adolescence also is a time of rapid and sometimes stressful changes in peer relationships, school expectations, family dynamics, and safety concerns in communities. The body responds to stress by activating specific hormones and activities in the nervous system so that the person can respond quickly and perform well under pressure. The stress response kicks in more quickly for adolescents than it does for adults whose brains are fully developed and can moderate a stress response. Not all stressors are bad. Positive experiences such as landing a first job or getting a driver’s permit can trigger a stress response that enables adolescents to approach a challenge with alertness and focus.
2. Self-management. By managing their own emotions, adolescents can establish positive goals and gain foresight into how their emotions can influence their goals and futures. To improve their ability to manage emotions, adolescents must first learn to recognize and describe strong, complex emotions. Although young people learn to describe basic emotions earlier in life, as they get older they develop an ability to truly grasp what emotions are and understand their impact. When adolescents can recognize how they feel, they can choose how they will react to a situation. They also learn to avoid the problems that strong emotions sometimes cause. However, because the brain’s frontal lobe–which is responsible for reasoning, planning, and problem-solving as well as emotions–doesn't fully develop until the mid-twenties, adolescents may find it difficult to manage their emotions and think through the consequences of their actions. Over time and with the support of parents and helpful adults, adolescents can develop the reasoning and abstract thinking skills that enable them to step back, examine their emotions, and consider consequences before acting rashly.

Unique Issues in Emotional Development

Physical changes increase adolescents’ capacity for emotional awareness, self-management, and empathy, but emotional development is strongly influenced by context. This means that many aspects of adolescents’ lives can influence their emotional development. Among these aspects are:

1. Self-esteem. How people feel about themselves–or the way they perceive their own talents, characteristics, and life experiences–can affect their sense of their own worth. An adolescent’s self-esteem can be influenced by approval from family, support from friends, and personal successes. Research shows that adolescents with a positive self-concept experience greater academic success than do adolescents who lack this quality. Concerns about body image also are common and can provide opportunities for parents, teachers, and other caring adults to teach self-care, offer encouragement, and reinforce a positive body image. For some adolescents, the concern for body image is extreme and–when combined with other warning signs–may indicate an eating disorder. Eating disorders are one type of mental health problem among adolescents. However, feeling good about oneself does not necessarily protect against risky behaviors. Therefore, it is still important to limit adolescents’ exposure to risky situations and empower young people to make healthy choices when they inevitably come across such a situation.
2. Identity formation. There are many facets to identity formation, which includes developmental tasks such as becoming independent and achieving a sense of competence. Adolescents may question their passions and values, examine their relationships with family and peers, and think about their talents and definitions of success. Identity formation is an iterative process during which adolescents repeatedly experiment with different ideas, friends, and activities. This experimentation is normal and can provide adolescents opportunities to learn more about themselves and others, but it isn’t always balanced with thoughtfulness or a cognitive ability to consider the consequences of their actions. Although this path to finding one’s identity can prove challenging for some families, it also can motivate adolescents to learn about themselves and become more confident in their own, unique identities.
3. Stress. Adolescents live in a variety of environments and experience a wide range of stressors that affect emotional development. Learning healthy responses to stressful situations is part of normal development, and some stress can even be positive. However, some adolescents face particularly traumatic events, such as experiencing or witnessing physical or sexual abuse, or school violence. Some of these events are prolonged or recurring, such as chronic neglect or being bullied. Some adolescents also have to deal with multiple types of traumatic stress. These more extreme forms of stress, often referred to as toxic stress, can weaken an adolescent’s immune system, resulting in chronic physical health problems and potentially leading to depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. Toxic stress also can lead to stress-related diseases and cognitive impairment in adulthood. Adolescents who experience this form of stress also are more likely to use harmful substances, engage in other risky behaviors, and experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a condition in which a person relives a traumatic event through persistent memories or flashbacks and experiences other symptoms such as insomnia, angry outbursts, or feeling tense. However, people respond to stress differently, and a strong support system can help protect adolescents from long-lasting negative effects and create an environment that enables youth to thrive.

How Parents and Caring Adults Can Support Emotional Development

Parents and other adults can support positive emotional development and help youth thrive by modeling healthy behaviors. This means that it is important to:

1. Make your own emotional well-being a priority. You may find it helpful to join a parent group where you can safely navigate your feelings with people who understand your point of view. Being mindful of emotional well-being is especially important for people working with adolescents who have experienced trauma. The Vicarious Trauma Toolkit can help victim services providers, law enforcement personnel, emergency responders, and other professionals address the emotional impact of their work.
2. Practice healthy goal-setting. Let go of ideas of perfection for adolescents and yourself. Set realistic goals and break them into smaller tasks that are easier to manage. When you come up against an obstacle or experience a failure, focus on what you can control, and let go of the things that you cannot.
3. Value every adolescent’s unique identity. Even when you don’t relate to an adolescent’s feelings or experiences, your understanding and respect as a parent or caring adult goes a long way.
4. Resolve conflicts with respect for others. When you disagree with someone, remember what you like about the person and focus on resolving the issue at hand instead of assigning blame. Take time to cool off and think things through when you start to feel overwhelmed. Family conflicts can be especially stressful given the intense emotions and relationship dynamics at play.
5. Manage your anger. Practicing relaxation exercises and using humor to diffuse a tense situation are a couple strategies you can use to manage your anger. Seek professional help if you are unsure of what to do.

Parents and other adults also can support the development of adolescents’ skills that facilitate emotional development by taking steps to:

Strengthen communication skills. Many lessons about relationships and emotions start with the parent-child relationship. Effective and open communication lies at the heart of this relationship. Strong communication skills include being an attentive listener, sharing your experiences instead of lecturing, and asking open-ended questions.

Build emotional vocabulary. State your feelings and discuss how other people may feel in a nonjudgmental way. Point out nonverbal cues such as body language when discussing emotions. Ask your teen, “How did you feel about that?” and “How do you think that made the other person feel?”

Promote stress management skills. Encourage adolescents to handle stress in healthy ways. Daily management strategies include getting adequate sleep, staying active with exercise and hobbies, practicing deep breathing, and eating regular meals. Teach adolescents to “mind their brain” by talking about adolescent brain development and letting them know how they can use the power of their brains to learn healthy behaviors.

Nurture self-regulation skills. Provide opportunities for adolescents to understand, express, and moderate their own feelings and behaviors. This step involves modeling self-regulation creating a warm and responsive environment, establishing consequences for poor decisions, and reducing the emotional intensity of conflicts.

Limit exposure to risky situations. When faced with a decision, emotions may intermingle with recollections of what might have happened in the past. Prepare adolescents for risky situations by talking about what they can do to anticipate, avoid, and process them. Help adolescents weigh their emotions and think through short-term and long-term consequences.

Help teens think carefully about risky situations. After a risky event, ask adolescents, “Why do you think this happened?” and “What could you do differently next time?” It may take them a long time to fully process their experiences so give them to time to think about the answers.

Pay attention to warning signs. Adolescents may show signs of stress, anxiety, or depression such as increased irritability or anger, changing sleeping and eating habits, dropping favorite activities, or feelings of loneliness. Resources are available to those experiencing an emotional crisis. If you are concerned about an adolescent’s well-being, consult your healthcare provider or mental health professional. An adolescent may also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.

General Social Changes Adolescents Experience

The process of social development moves adolescents from the limited roles of childhood to the broader roles of adulthood. For young people, this transition includes:

1. Expanding their social circles. Young children mostly spend time with their family. Their social circle expands slightly as they enter school. By the time they reach adolescence, their networks also can include people from team sports, student organizations, jobs, and other activities. As their social circles expand, adolescents spend less time with their families and may focus more on their peers. Young people also develop a greater capacity to form stronger relationships with adults outside of their families who may function as mentors.
2. Expanding their social roles. The changes adolescents experience in their brain, emotions, and bodies prime them to take on more complex social roles. Cognitive and emotional development work together to help adolescents have deeper conversations and express their emotions better. Physical development signals that adolescents are becoming adults and that they may become entrusted with greater responsibility. Adolescents may assume new roles, such as taking on a leadership position in school, on a team, or at church; serving as a confidante; or being a romantic partner.

Building new connections and establishing identities outside of the context of the family is a normal part of healthy development. Interacting with people outside of the family circle can teach adolescents how to maintain healthy relationships in different contexts and identify roles they can play in the broader community. Still, it is important to remember that adolescents will need support as they experience these new roles. Engaging in role-playing and rehearsing strategies modeled by peer and adult mentors may help adolescents practice cooperation, communication, problem-solving, and decision-making skills, as well as tactics to resist peer pressure.

One aspect of social development that promotes having a broad social network is the tendency of adolescents to become more aware of how other people feel. The ability to empathize and to appreciate the unique differences among people increases in adolescence. Adolescents often learn to take other people’s feelings into account, be compassionate about the suffering of others, listen actively, and interpret nonverbal cues. Although youth typically begin to express some complex emotions early in life, adolescents start to examine their inner experiences and express their emotions verbally. However, because the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until early adulthood, adolescents often find it challenging to interpret body language and facial expressions. As the prefrontal cortex develops and the capacity for abstract thinking grows, adolescents will be able to empathize more deeply with others.

Unique Issues in Social Development

The way adolescents develop socially largely depends on their environment. For example, some youth live in neighborhoods and attend schools where violence is relatively common. These adolescents must develop different coping strategies than do those who live in neighborhoods with more physical security. Some adolescents also experience trauma. These experiences can evoke stress reactions across all developmental areas. Some survivors of trauma have difficulty regulating emotions, sleeping, eating, and acting on or making decisions. In any case, all adolescents need caring adults in their lives who offer them support, provide opportunities for them to test their new skills, and offer guidance on how to be successful. The key role that environment plays in adolescent development means that adolescents of the same age will differ greatly in their ability to handle diverse social situations.

Here are some other factors that differ among adolescents and can affect their social development:

Varying rates of physical development. Adolescents’ bodies change and develop at different rates, and this process does not always happen in sync with other areas of development. For instance, those who develop physically at a relatively young age may be seen and treated more like adults or they may end up spending more time with older youth because of how they look, a pattern that increases their potential for engaging in sexual relationships. However, these more mature-looking adolescents may not be emotionally and cognitively ready to handle those new roles. On the other hand, adolescents who develop later may be seen and treated more like young children.

Evolving groups of friends. Acceptance by a peer group is crucial to adolescents, especially those who are younger. Seeking acceptance might spur them to change the way they think, speak, dress, and behave to make them feel they belong to the group. As a result, younger adolescents tend to hang out with peers who are similar to them (e.g., same race, ethnicity, family income, religion, or class schedule). Older adolescents may branch out to other groups as their social worlds diversify and expand.

Differing types of peer pressure. Peer pressure sometimes gets a bad reputation. The stereotype about this pressure stems from perceptions of delinquent and risky behaviors, including sexual activity and substance abuse, which some adolescents think will earn them greater acceptance among their peers. However, peer pressure can be beneficial, and peer relationships can be largely positive. Positive peer groups practice behaviors such as cooperating, sharing, resolving conflicts, and supporting others. The accepted standards, or norms, of positive peer groups can help adolescents build relationship skills, hold favorable views of themselves, and have the confidence to take positive risks.

Changing ways to interact. As with all technologies, using social media carries both potential risks and potential benefits for adolescents. Text messaging, social networking platforms, blogs, email, and instant messaging can help adolescents stay connected to each other, and express who they are to the world. Today’s adolescents have such large social networks that it is not uncommon to have virtual friendships with peers they have never met face-to-face. This digital interaction may curtail nonverbal communication and cues that occur in person that are important for developing social skills; but these interactions are still social and meaningful to the adolescents who participate in them. At the same time, technology and social media have also provided a new forum for harassment. In addition to the 20 percent of high school students who reported being bullied in school the previous year (2015), another 16 percent reported being bullied online.

How Parents and Caring Adults Can Support Social Development

Although adolescence is a time when young people try to manage their lives on their own, they still depend on their families and caring adults for primary support, affection, and decision-making, as well as for help establishing their identities and learning about skills and values. Here are some ways parents and other adults can support youth thriving in social development.

1. Set examples of healthy relationships. Relationships can be strong when you’re aware of your own feelings as well as aware of other’s emotions. In healthy relationships, both partners should treat each other with respect, give each other space, talk through problems, and communicate honestly. Modeling positive friendships and relationships with co-workers and neighbors also is important.
2. Monitor and get to know adolescents’ friends and dating partners. Find out whom they spend time with, what they are doing, and where they are going. Ask about how the adolescent picks their friends and what they enjoy about the people with whom they spend their time.
3. Encourage participation in activities adolescents care about. Help adolescents make friends by getting them involved in activities that match their interests (e.g., art, music, computer science, sports).
4. Exhibit empathetic behavior. Show empathy by acting on concern for other people, using statements that describe how people might feel, and talking about being compassionate toward diverse groups of people. Adults and adolescents also can work together on community service projects.
5. Build connections by talking to adolescents about your interests and learn about theirs. Take the time to learn about your adolescent’s hobbies and interests and expose them to new activities to help you find mutual interests and have more meaningful interactions.
6. Teach adolescents how to deal with peer pressure. Help adolescents understand which risks will enable them to test their skills and which risks may have harmful consequences, even if their peers encourage those behaviors.

Talking with Adolescents

Parents and other adults can help answer young people’s questions about their changing social worlds and relationships. Have open and honest conversations with adolescents to help them make healthy decisions about their social development.

Acknowledge what adolescents have to say. Not every disagreement is a conflict. Be available to listen to any concerns adolescents disclose. Meaningful conversations may happen informally and spontaneously.

Let adolescents know when it is important to share sensitive information with you. Make sure teens know they can come to you with information that affects their safety or the safety of their peers without fear of being judged or punished.

Discuss boundaries and expectations in relationships with friends and romantic partners. Stress the importance of having personal space, setting limits, and respecting privacy in any relationship. Discuss what true friendships and romantic relationships are (respectful, supportive, encouraging, and caring) as well as what they are not (disrespectful, abusive, controlling, and violent). Acknowledge that friends and romantic partners can remain close and intimate even if they say “no” to each other.

Set online boundaries. A large part of social development now occurs while adolescents are online. Whether social media acts as a risk or a tool for adolescent health largely depends on how adolescents use the media and how parents talk with teens about online safety. Talk to adolescents about behaving responsibly online, both in how they treat others and how they can keep themselves safe.

Teach and model good communication skills. Having a conversation, especially on sensitive topics, can be challenging. Respectful communication is a learned skill. Showing adolescents how to listen and share their thoughts and feelings respectfully, even in the midst of conflict, can help them socially, romantically, and professionally.

General Changes in Values that Adolescents Experience

Adolescence is a time when changes in the brain encourage young people to think about the world more deeply and in a more abstract way. This thinking helps shape how adolescents see the world, how they choose to interact with it, and how they begin to develop the morals and values that will play out in their adult lives.

Some of the most common changes in thinking about morals and values that occur during this life stage include:

1. Seeing the world in shades of gray. Adolescents begin to understand that not every question has a clear-cut answer. As they develop empathy, they begin to see why other people make different choices and to understand those choices better.
2. Understanding the reasons behind rules. Abstract thinking means adolescents can sense more fully how rules are related to ideas such as justice, public good, and safety. This knowledge also means that they may push back more on the issue of why rules exist. Children may be okay when parents and other adults say “because it’s the law” or “because I said so” as answers to their questions, but adolescents may need more justification for curfews, limits, or other rules.
3. Forming their moral code. The questions and debates adolescents raise about rules are normal and helpful. The reasons and logic adults provide help adolescents form their views of the world and how it works. When adolescents get answers that satisfy their questions about a rule, it becomes personal to them, and they are better able to see why a rule makes sense.
4. Becoming more interested in big questions. As part of establishing their values, adolescents may think more about what is right and what is wrong, what their role should be in the world, and what they should do when faced with personal moral dilemmas. They may spend time exploring their own religious traditions more deeply, as well as looking at other religions, philosophies, and forms of spirituality.

While it may be true that adolescents no longer think like children, they still need time and support to process new ideas and ways of thinking. As part of this process, adolescents often question and challenge rules and those in authority. When adolescents raise questions, evaluate answers, and explore new ideas, they are practicing their new thinking and emotional abilities. This practice in abstract thinking helps prepare them for making complex, concrete decisions in adolescence and adulthood.

The process of setting values also can push adolescents to get involved with causes of interest to them and to become connected with the wider community. This connection to the larger world can help adolescents make positive choices that protect their health and their futures.

Unique Issues in Moral Development

As with other types of development, adolescents vary in when, how much, and how fast they establish and change their morals and values. This variation also is affected by how much they have changed and mastered skills in other areas. Specifically, cognitive, emotional, and social development all can have an impact on how adolescents shape their morals and values.

Adolescents’ thoughts and emotions also can vary across different events so that the same person will react to similar situations in completely different ways. This inconsistency is normal, and in many cases, good. The more adolescents think through their response to different events, the more they can build their decision-making skills. When faced with a choice, values can shape whether a person is aware of a problem, how they organize information about a situation, what solutions they think of, and how they weigh different results.

Adolescent moral and values development, and consequently young peoples’ worldview and approach to different situations, is based on their personality and prior experiences. For instance:

Some adolescents may connect more easily with issues in the wider world and be moved by events that happen across the globe, whereas others may focus more on issues affecting their local community.

Adolescents may differ in their level of optimism, as well as in how much they consider things from a practical or idealistic viewpoint.

Family members are often a person’s first teachers for how the world works, setting cultural norms and traditions.

Adolescents’ values are formed by interactions with parents and other adults, peers, schools, religious groups, the media, the internet, and other institutions. As adolescents experience a range of views, they learn to reflect on, question, and refine their own views.

For some adolescents, experiencing traumatic events may shape their worldview. Some research shows that in addition to tools like cognitive therapy and approaches like trauma-informed care, religion and spirituality can help a person cope with trauma.

Ideally, youth would only make choices that match where they are in their development. However, life circumstances mean that some youth face more complex decisions than what they feel ready to tackle. In these cases, parents and other caring adults can play an especially vital role in providing guidance.

Beyond the different experiences described above, adolescents also differ in the types of choices they face. Some teens may have faced these choices at a younger age, while others may be confronting them for the first time: Examples of these choices (or dilemmas) include:

Giving friends honest feedback or staying quiet to spare their feelings

Finding time to follow through on commitments, such as schoolwork or being engaged in an activity, while also taking care of one’s health (e.g., getting adequate sleep, exercising)

Getting a job or taking up a leadership position during one’s free time

Keeping some things private by not posting to social media versus posting to gain acceptance by one’s peers

Debating an issue online with a friend or acquaintance versus talking face-to-face.

How Parents and Caring Adults Can Support Moral Development

The process of moral and values development in adolescence not only helps adolescents become engaged in society, it also supports optimal health. For example, research has linked faith-based participation and spirituality with positive social ties, higher self-esteem, and lower rates of substance use. During this time of questioning, adolescents often want to talk to parents and other adults such as coaches, teachers, and counselors. The four in five adolescents who attend religious services at least once a year may look to their faith tradition for supportive adults. No matter what your role in young people’s lives, these tips can help you create a space where youth can thrive.

Let adolescents explore other perspectives. Adolescents are curious about how their values and ideals fit in with those of other people. One way they can explore this is by talking and working directly with people of other ages and backgrounds. Adolescents also can get to know other views through music, art, books, poems, movies, and plays. Being comfortable with seeing and thinking about new ideas, even if they never adopt them, can help adolescents respect others’ views.

Talk honestly and openly about your values. Even though it may not always seem like it, teens do care about what their adult role models think and appreciate when parents and other adults are “real” with them. You don’t need to wait for them to come to you to start a conversation. The news, TV shows, movies, and other media can be conversation starters. Sharing your story about how different life events shaped you helps adolescents process their own ideas.

Listen and don’t judge. When adolescents share their concerns, they are making themselves vulnerable to your opinion. Listening to them and treating their questions as valid will help them feel safe and also will make it more likely that they will continue coming to you for advice. You can let teens know that it's okay to make mistakes.

Support adolescents in evaluating and addressing the results of their actions. A valuable part of risk-taking is that adolescents experience some of the results of their actions. As a parent or caring adult, it may be necessary to try and reduce the harm that can come from an adolescent’s choices (e.g., to prevent serious injury). Still, having an accurate and full picture of the results of their actions helps adolescents make decisions in the future. When adolescents experience negative outcomes, you can help them think through a new approach for the next time.

Model how to disagree. Different backgrounds and viewpoints mean people do not always agree, and teens in your life will be no exception. It is okay if your adolescent’s views do not perfectly match yours. By showing teens respect when views differ, you teach them how to hold on to their values and maintain their relationships even when people hold different opinions.

Revisit rules, as needed. Adolescents want to know that rules are fair and understand how they work. They also want to know the reasons behind rules. If adolescents say a rule is not working, listen to their feedback and give them a chance to share what they think may work better. Giving teens a way to contribute empowers them and prepares them to manage their own actions even when no specific rules are in place.

Encourage adolescents to get involved. Volunteering helps adolescents support the causes that matter to them, express their thoughts, and connect with their community. Learning about community and civic engagement is another way to get involved. For those who are 18 or older, voting is an important way they can make their voices heard and improve their communities. These activities let adolescents see beyond themselves as well as develop a sense of purpose and belonging.

Help teen voices be heard. There are several ways an adolescent can take action and make their voices heard to make a difference in a community. Adolescents can be leaders and express their values in a range of settings. For example, adolescents can be active participants in their school clubs and activities, volunteer efforts, community sports or arts groups, or join a community-based program’s youth advisory or youth leadership council.

Many adolescents experience positive mental health, but an estimated 49.5 percent of adolescents has had a mental health disorder at some point in their lives.¹ The good news is that promoting positive mental health can prevent some problems. For young people who do have mental health disorders, early intervention and treatment can help lessen the impact on their lives.

It is a normal part of development for teens to experience a wide range of emotions. It is typical, for instance, for teens to feel anxious about school or friendships, or to experience a period of depression following the death of a close friend or family member. However, mental health disorders are characterized by persistent symptoms that affect how a young person feels, thinks, and acts. Mental health disorders also can interfere with regular activities and daily functioning, such as relationships, schoolwork, sleeping, and eating.²

Common Mental Health Warning Signs

Mental health is not simply the presence or absence of symptoms. Variations in how adolescents experience symptoms can make identification and diagnosis of mental health disorders challenging. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), an adolescent might need help if they:

• Lose interest in activities that they used to enjoy
• Have low energy
• Have difficulty sleeping or eating
• Spend more time alone and avoid social activities
• Excessively exercise, diet, and/or binge eat
• Harm themselves (e.g., burning or cutting their skin)
• Use alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs
• Engage in risky or destructive behavior
• Have thoughts of suicide
• Think their mind is being controlled or is out of control or hear things other people cannot hear

Common Mental Health Disorders in Adolescence

Common mental health disorders in adolescence include those related to anxiety, depression, attention deficit-hyperactivity, and eating.

Anxiety disorders

• Characterized by feelings of excessive uneasiness, worry, and fear
• Examples include generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, social anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and phobias
• Occur in approximately 32 percent of 13- to 18-year-olds
• In 2016, roughly 11 percent of adolescents ages 12-17 and 7 percent of children ages 6-11 had a current anxiety disorder diagnosis^*
• Globally, the prevalence of youth experiencing clinically elevated anxiety symptoms—roughly 1 in 5—nearly doubled during the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, underscoring the importance of mental health supports and services for adolescents

*According to the child's parent, guardian, or other adult familiar with the child's health.

Depression

• Depressed mood that affects thoughts, feelings, and daily activities, including eating, sleeping, and working
• Occurs in approximately 13 percent of 12- to 17-year-olds
• Examples include major depressive disorder and seasonal affective disorder

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

• Characterized by continued inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with daily functioning or development
• Occurs in approximately nine percent of 13- to 18-year-olds

Eating disorders

• Characterized by extreme and abnormal eating behaviors, such as restricted or excessive eating
• Occur in almost three percent of 13- to 18-year-olds
• Examples include anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and binge eating disorder

Get Help

If you observe warning signs and need to seek help, consult your health care provider or mental health professional. In life-threatening situations, call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In a crisis, you can call or text 988 (for English or Spanish) to be connected to trained counselors in the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline network. For TTY users, use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.

During adolescence, young people learn how to form safe and healthy relationships with friends, parents, caregivers, teachers, and romantic partners. Adolescents often try on different identities and roles, and all of these relationships contribute to their identity formation. Peers, in particular, play a big role in creating an identity during adolescence. However, relationships with caring adults—including parents or caregivers, mentors, or coaches—are the building blocks for all other relationships, providing examples for how a young person handles them.

This page provides information on healthy and unhealthy adolescent relationships including: dating, friendships, and relationships with parents or caregivers. Broadly, healthy relationships are ones where adolescents can safely feel and express respect for themselves and others. This often comes from mutual trust, honesty, good communication, being understanding and calm during arguments, and consent. Unhealthy relationships, by contrast, usually have a power imbalance (for example there is not consent, mutual trust, compromise, or honesty), and one or both people in the relationship may have trouble communicating and controlling their anger. Some unhealthy relationships become physically, emotionally, or sexually violent. This page also links to further information about talking with adolescents about relationships and tools to facilitate these conversations.

Dating

Knowing how to establish and maintain healthy romantic relationships can help adolescents develop into well-functioning adults with healthy adult relationships. Healthy dating during the teenage years can be an important way to develop social skills, learn about other people, and grow emotionally. These relationships also can play a role in supporting adolescents’ ability to develop positive relationships in other areas including: in school, with employers, and with partners during adulthood. Although young people tend to become more interested in dating around their mid-teens and become more involved in dating relationships during high school, it is also normal for adolescents not to be in a relationship. In fact, adolescents date less now than they did in the past. This change is most striking for 12th-grade students, where the percentage of students in 12th grade who have never dated increased from 15 percent in 1992 to 49 percent in 2017. Among adolescents 13- to 17-years-old, nearly two-thirds have never been in a dating or romantic relationship. Adolescent sexual activity also has decreased from previous decades. The percentage of U.S. high school students who had ever had sex decreased from 54 percent in 1990 to 38 percent in 2019.

Meeting partners online

Despite media attention, few adolescents meet their romantic partners online. In 2015, only eight percent of all teenagers had met a romantic partner online. Of course, many teens have never dated anyone, but among those with dating experience, 24 percent dated or hooked up with someone they first met online. Among this 24 percent, half of the teens had met just one romantic partner online, while the other half had met more than one partner online.

Friendships

Adolescence is a period of rapid change—physically, emotionally, and socially—and relationships with friends play an important role in the lives of adolescents as they become increasingly independent, develop their own identity, and grapple with self-esteem. Friendships in younger adolescence may be driven by a desire to “fit in” with peers, and these youth may change what they do or are interested in to match their friends’ interests. In later adolescence, youth have more diverse friend groups and have independent preferences that they aren’t afraid to express within their social circles.

Positive friendships provide youth with companionship, support, and a sense of belonging. They can encourage or reinforce healthy behavior, like positive academic engagement; help youth develop positive social skills like cooperation, communication, conflict resolution, and resisting negative peer pressure; and evidence suggests that positive friendships in adolescence can lay the groundwork for successful adult relationships, including romantic relationships.

Relationships with Parents and Caregivers

The relationship between children and their parents or caregivers (such as guardians, aunts and uncles, or grandparents) is one of the most important relationships in a child's life, often lasting well into adulthood. In adolescence, this relationship changes dramatically as youth seek increased independence from their families and begin to make their own decisions. With increased independence comes the possibility of increased risk, both positive and negative, and teens need parents or caregivers to help them navigate the challenges that adolescence presents. Though some amount of conflict between adolescents and their parents is normal, adolescents still rely on parents or caregivers to provide emotional support and set limits, both of which are linked to positive adolescent development and parent-child closeness.

Although teens have increasing independence from their families, parents and caregivers still play a large and vital role in their lives; parents and caregivers help shape adolescents’ self-control, plans for their future, moral and social values, and their broader world view. As children grow, parenting shifts from making decisions for the younger child to helping older children and adolescents make decisions on their own, while minimizing the chance that they engage in high-risk behavior. Research shows that parents continue to have more influence than peers on many important outcomes, including whether adolescents smoke, use alcohol or other drugs, or have sexual intercourse.

Do birds of a feather really flock together? The science says yes. People do tend to choose friends who are similar to them. You also become more like your friends over time. And that can influence your health.

Many behaviors spread socially. Examples include how much you exercise, how much alcohol you drink, whether you smoke, and what foods you eat.

Scientists are still trying to untangle why that is. Studies have found that activity in certain brain areas changes when other people are around. That can affect what you choose to do.

But this work also suggests that you can harness the power of social relationships to gain healthier habits—and motivate others to do the same.

Social Influence

“People care about what others think across all different age groups—and that influences how much they value different ideas and behaviors,” says Dr. Emily Falk at the University of Pennsylvania. She studies how social networks affect decision making. This is called social, or peer, influence.

Teens are especially responsive to peer influence. That’s because their brains undergo changes that make them highly attuned to social situations. At the same time, the reward system in the teen brain becomes extra sensitive.

The reward system is a brain circuit that causes feelings of pleasure. It’s activated by things we enjoy, like eating good food. It’s also activated by social rewards, like getting a compliment.

And teens are just learning to navigate the social world. Understanding other people’s values and being influenced by them are important parts of socializing. Being influenced on things like clothing choices and musical taste can help teens learn to fit in and make friends. But taking part in risky behaviors, like drinking alcohol or smoking, can lead to health or legal consequences.

“Research shows that even just having another peer around can change the reward response in the brain and also the risk-taking tendencies of teenagers,” says Falk. Her team studies how peers affect teens’ driving behaviors and smoking decisions.

Some people seem to be more easily influenced than others, too. They may be more sensitive to feeling included or excluded by others. Or they may be more sensitive to social signals, like the tone of someone’s voice or their body language.

Dr. Mary Heitzeg’s team at the University of Michigan is doing research to better understand how a person’s biology and reactions to social situations affect whether they develop substance use or mental health problems later in life.

Using brain scans, the team is looking at how teens’ brains respond to being socially included or excluded. They’re also looking at how the brain’s reward system responds to different situations.

Heitzeg’s team is part of a large 10-year effort, called the ABCD Study, to understand the factors that influence teens’ health and risk behavior in the long term. Factors can include families, friends, schools, neighborhoods, and communities.

“Adolescence is such a risky period,” says Heitzeg. “That’s when sexual initiation happens, initiation and escalation of substance use happens, as well as other types of risky and delinquent behaviors, like risky driving.”

But it’s also a time that peer influence can help teens thrive if it gets them more involved with their community or helps them learn behaviors to get along with others, like how to cooperate or be empathetic.

Peer Quality, Not Quantity

Positive and negative peer influences can affect more than just your behavior. They can also change the way you feel.

Studies show that, in general, the more friends you have and the more time you spend with them, the happier you are. Friends give you people to share your feelings with, to get new perspectives from, or to just do fun activities with.

But it’s the quality of those friendships—not quantity—that really makes the difference. Quality of friendships has been linked to higher life satisfaction and better mental health.

“We’ve all experienced letting a friendship go because it didn’t feel great,” says Dr. Rebecca Schwartz-Mette of the University of Maine. Her lab studies how peer relationships affect the emotional development of children and teens.

Friendships you feel you want to let go of may be low quality. They might be fraught with conflict, criticism, and aggression. For youth, low quality friendships are linked to poor academic performance and behavioral issues.

High quality friendships provide understanding, support, and validation of your self-worth. These types of friendships are more stable and are more satisfying.

Spending time with friends can be especially helpful for people with anxiety or depression. However, Schwartz-Mette’s studies have shown that depression can also be worsened by certain friendship qualities. One is called co-rumination.

“Co-rumination is basically when people get together and talk excessively about everything that’s going wrong and how bad they feel,” she explains. “With that person, they feel understood, validated, and that this person is emotionally close to them. But they get more depressed because they’re focusing their attention on negative things.”

Research suggests that it may help to refocus such friendships. Talk about both positive and negative things in your day. Look for healthy activities to get out and do together, like going for a walk. Encourage each other to keep up healthy habits like physical activity, healthy eating, and getting a good night’s sleep.

“Noticing that our behavior is influenced by other people, we can be intentional and try to focus on the people who are doing the things we want to get into ourselves,” Falk explains. “Sharing your healthy habits with other people could make a real difference to somebody else.” And to yourself.

Parents can help guide their kids toward more positive social experiences, too (see the Wise Choices box for tips). But everyone can benefit from high quality friendships that help you nurture healthy habits.

Fostering Positive Friendships

Parents can help guide their kids toward healthier friendships. Here are ways to help:

• Stay involved. Talk with your children about their lives and activities. Knowing what goes on can help you better guide them toward positive, healthy experiences.
• Keep an eye on social groups. Though children may identify with a certain peer group for a period of time, they often move from group to group. Try to steer them toward peers who support them in healthy ways.
• Encourage kids to do healthy activities when they’re with friends. For example, going for a walk or hike, playing recreational sports, or volunteering.
• Provide ways for kids to take healthy social risks. For example, find opportunities for teens to get involved with their community and meet new people with different perspectives. Or to meet someone who can teach them about a topic of interest.
• Share examples from your own life. Explain how you’ve found ways to meet new people and what activities you enjoy doing with others. Model the behaviors you’d like to see.
• Create a sense of belonging and acceptance. Kids can learn about healthy relationships from their family experiences.

The teenage years are filled with change. Body, mind, and feelings are maturing quickly. Teens are also learning about who they are and who they want to become. To do that, they need to try new things. But that means taking risks.

“Parenting during the teen years can be a very exciting but also a really risky time,” explains Dr. Kevin Haggerty, an NIH-funded prevention researcher at the University of Washington.

That’s because a teen’s brain is still developing and is extra sensitive to emotion and to things that feel good. The parts of the brain that control impulses and rational decision-making are still being formed.

“That creates a perfect storm for quick addiction,” Haggerty explains. It puts teens at higher risk for alcohol, drug, and tobacco use, high-risk sexual behavior, and risky driving choices. They’re also more likely to experience mental health issues, like anxiety and depression.

Teens can make unhealthy food choices and neglect physical activity. Most don’t get the eight to 10 hours of sleep they need each night. But certain parenting strategies can help guide kids toward healthier and less risky choices.

“Keeping lines of communication open, monitoring and knowing your children’s peers, and staying engaged and connected as a parent are the key ways to reduce risk,” explains Dr. Beth Stormshak, an NIH-funded psychologist at the University of Oregon.

Stormshak and Haggerty have studied different parenting programs designed to reduce risky teen behavior. Their research and other studies have shown that some strategies can help.

Build a Positive Relationship

Creating a positive, trusting relationship with your kids is key. It makes them more likely to listen to your advice and follow your rules.

“Positive parenting really means forming a positive relationship with your child that’s focused more on praise, support, and incentives and less on negative things like yelling, criticizing, or nagging,” explains Stormshak. “If you could choose one thing to do differently with your teenager, that would be it.”

You can create a more positive relationship by spending quality time with your teen. Listen to what they’re thinking and feeling. Show interest and concern over their problems. That helps them feel more connected with you.

It’s important to stay calm when they share, and respect differences of opinion. That helps build trust. It also gives you the chance to teach them how to problem solve. Sharing your experiences rather than lecturing helps build better communication.

You can build stronger bonds with your teen by recognizing and rewarding their positive behaviors. Give them opportunities to learn new things. Tell them when they’re doing well.

It’s also a good idea to have your kids be a part of the discussion about expectations for the family. That helps create positive, open communication and keeps everyone clear on the rules.

Making sure you have good communication with your teen will help you catch problems early, support positive behavior, and better monitor their life.

Keep in Touch

As your kids age, you’re with them less often. That makes building trust and good communication important. Your ability to know what’s going on in their lives largely depends on what they’ll share with you.

“Monitor what’s going on with your adolescent in ways that don’t destroy bonding or connecting, but in ways that promote it,” Haggerty says. “Have conversations, ask questions, know who your kids’ friends are, have conversations with your kids’ friends. So much of these things take place, not in a face-to-face conversation, but in a casual conversation when you’re walking or talking or in a car or listening when you’re driving kids around, and being aware of what’s going on in your kid’s life.”

Dr. Bruce Simons-Morton, a public health expert at NIH, has found that kids who have more friends who drink alcohol are more likely to do so themselves. In fact, peer influence is one of the highest predictors of teen drinking.

“As teens get older, they spend more time with peers. The parent influence wanes while the peer influence increases,” he says.

Talk with your teen about what qualities to look for in a friend, like being honest, respectful, and involved in school, and not acting in dangerous or unhealthy ways.

Studies have found that parents’ expectations and support can affect their kid’s choices into early adulthood. Teens with parents who are more involved in their lives have less alcohol and drug use and safer sexual behaviors.

Set Limits and Consequences

Parents can also help teens avoid risky behavior by setting clear limits and expectations ahead of time and consistently following through with consequences.

“We find that parenting matters even the year after high school,” explains Simons-Morton. His studies have found that young adults whose parents had high expectations for them to not abuse alcohol were less likely to increase how much they drank after high school.

Start telling your child early on what your expectations are about drinking, drugs, driving, and sexual behavior. Encourage them to eat healthy and get enough exercise. And keep talking about your expectations and values throughout their teen years. Be consistent with praise and rewards when they follow the rules.

Setting consequences your teen will care about is another important part of parenting. That can mean different things depending on the teen. Privileges like cell phones, video games, spending time doing their favorite hobby or sport, or driving may work to encourage good behavior.

“In adolescence, you’re trying to figure out who you are,” Stormshak explains. There’s no guarantee you can help your teen avoid risky choices. But sharing your values and expectations and talking about how their choices can affect their life can help guide them toward better options. See the Wise Choices box for some tips on parenting teens.

How to Guide Teens’ Choices

• Talk with your teen about their life. Listen to their concerns and opinions. Respect their views.
• Encourage kids to try new things that interest them, like sports, music, or volunteer work.
• Stay involved in your teen’s school and after-school activities. Get to know their friends.
• Teach your teen how to solve problems and resolve conflicts on their own. Create opportunities for them to make their own decisions. Be available for advice and support.
• Help your teen plan ahead for difficult or uncomfortable situations. Talk about what to do if they’re being pressured for sex, to use drugs or alcohol, or to accept a ride from someone under the influence.
• Put your rules for driving into a parent-teen driving contract (CDC)
• Limit your teen’s screen time each day. Be aware of their online activities and offer guidance about posting on social media.
• Respect your teen’s need for privacy.

Developmental Milestones

This is a time of many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes. Hormones change as puberty begins. Most boys grow facial and pubic hair and their voices deepen. Most girls grow pubic hair and breasts, and start their period. They might be worried about these changes and how they are looked at by others. This also will be a time when your teen might face peer pressure to use alcohol, tobacco products, and drugs, and to have sex. Other challenges can be eating disorders, depression, and family problems. At this age, teens make more of their own choices about friends, sports, studying, and school. They become more independent, with their own personality and interests, although parents are still very important.

Here is some information on how young teens develop:

Emotional/Social Changes

Children in this age group might:

• Show more concern about body image, looks, and clothes.
• Focus on themselves; going back and forth between high expectations and lack of confidence.
• Experience more moodiness.
• Show more interest in and influence by peer group.
• Express less affection toward parents; sometimes might seem rude or short-tempered.
• Feel stress from more challenging school work.
• Develop eating problems.
• Feel a lot of sadness or depression, which can lead to poor grades at school, alcohol or drug use, unsafe sex, and other problems.

Thinking and Learning

Children in this age group might:

• Have more ability for complex thought.
• Be better able to express feelings through talking.
• Develop a stronger sense of right and wrong.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:

• Be honest and direct with your teen when talking about sensitive subjects such as drugs, drinking, smoking, and sex.
• Meet and get to know your teen’s friends.
• Show an interest in your teen’s school life.
• Help your teen make healthy choices while encouraging him to make his own decisions.
• Respect your teen’s opinions and take into account her thoughts and feelings. It is important that she knows you are listening to her.
• When there is a conflict, be clear about goals and expectations (like getting good grades, keeping things clean, and showing respect), but allow your teen input on how to reach those goals (like when and how to study or clean).

Child Safety First

You play an important role in keeping your child safe―no matter how old he or she is. Here are a few tips to help protect your child:

• Make sure your teen knows about the importance of wearing seatbelts. Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among 12- to 14-year-olds.
• Encourage your teen to wear a helmet when riding a bike or a skateboard or using inline skates; riding on a motorcycle, snowmobile, or all-terrain vehicle; or playing contact sports. Injuries from sports and other activities are common.
• Talk with your teen about the dangers of drugs, drinking, smoking, and risky sexual activity. Ask him what he knows and thinks about these issues, and share your thoughts and feelings with him. Listen to what she says and answer her questions honestly and directly.
• Talk with your teen about the importance of having friends who are interested in positive activities. Encourage her to avoid peers who pressure her to make unhealthy choices.
• Know where your teen is and whether an adult is present. Make plans with him for when he will call you, where you can find him, and what time you expect him home.
• Set clear rules for your teen when she is home alone. Talk about such issues as having friends at the house, how to handle situations that can be dangerous (emergencies, fire, drugs, sex, etc.), and completing homework or household tasks.

Healthy Bodies

• Encourage your teen to be physically active. She might join a team sport or take up an individual sport. Helping with household tasks such as mowing the lawn, walking the dog, or washing the car also will keep your teen active.
• Meal time is very important for families. Eating together helps teens make better choices about the foods they eat, promotes healthy weight, and gives your family members time to talk with each other.
• Limit screen time for your child to no more than 1 to 2 hours per day of quality programming, at home, school, or afterschool care.

Developmental Milestones

This is a time of changes for how teenagers think, feel, and interact with others, and how their bodies grow. Most girls will be physically mature by now, and most will have completed puberty. Boys might still be maturing physically during this time. Your teen might have concerns about her body size, shape, or weight. Eating disorders also can be common, especially among girls. During this time, your teen is developing his unique personality and opinions. Relationships with friends are still important, yet your teen will have other interests as he develops a more clear sense of who he is. This is also an important time to prepare for more independence and responsibility; many teenagers start working, and many will be leaving home soon after high school.

Here is some information on how teens develop:

Emotional/Social Changes

Children in this age group might:

• Have more interest in romantic relationships and sexuality.
• Go through less conflict with parents.
• Show more independence from parents.
• Have a deeper capacity for caring and sharing and for developing more intimate relationships.
• Spend less time with parents and more time with friends.
• Feel a lot of sadness or depression, which can lead to poor grades at school, alcohol or drug use, unsafe sex, and other problems.

Thinking and Learning

Children in this age group might:

• Learn more defined work habits.
• Show more concern about future school and work plans.
• Be better able to give reasons for their own choices, including about what is right or wrong.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your teen during this time:

• Talk with your teen about her concerns and pay attention to any changes in her behavior. Ask her if she has had suicidal thoughts, particularly if she seems sad or depressed. Asking about suicidal thoughts will not cause her to have these thoughts, but it will let her know that you care about how she feels. Seek professional help if necessary.
• Show interest in your teen’s school and extracurricular interests and activities and encourage him to become involved in activities such as sports, music, theater, and art.
• Encourage your teen to volunteer and become involved in civic activities in her community.
• Compliment your teen and celebrate his efforts and accomplishments.
• Show affection for your teen. Spend time together doing things you enjoy.
• Respect your teen’s opinion. Listen to her without playing down her concerns.
• Encourage your teen to develop solutions to problems or conflicts. Help your teenager learn to make good decisions. Create opportunities for him to use his own judgment, and be available for advice and support.
• If your teen engages in interactive internet media such as games, chat rooms, and instant messaging, encourage her to make good decisions about what she posts and the amount of time she spends on these activities.
• If your teen works, use the opportunity to talk about expectations, responsibilities, and other ways of behaving respectfully in a public setting.
• Talk with your teen and help him plan ahead for difficult or uncomfortable situations. Discuss what he can do if he is in a group and someone is using drugs or under pressure to have sex, or is offered a ride by someone who has been drinking.
• Respect your teen’s need for privacy.
• Encourage your teen to get enough sleep and exercise, and to eat healthy, balanced meals.

Safety First

You play an important role in keeping your child safe―no matter how old he or she is. Here are a few ways to help protect your child:

• Talk with your teen about the dangers of driving and how to be safe on the road. You can steer your teen in the right direction. Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death from unintentional injury among teens, yet few teens take measures to reduce their risk of injury.
• Remind your teen to wear a helmet when riding a bike, motorcycle, or all-terrain vehicle. Unintentional injuries resulting from participation in sports and other activities are common.
• Talk with your teen about suicide and pay attention to warning signs. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among youth 15 through 24 years of age.
• Talk with your teen about the dangers of drugs, drinking, smoking, and risky sexual activity. Ask him what he knows and thinks about these issues, and share your feelings with him. Listen to what he says and answer his questions honestly and directly.
• Discuss with your teen the importance of choosing friends who do not act in dangerous or unhealthy ways.
• Know where your teen is and whether a responsible adult is present. Make plans with her for when she will call you, where you can find her, and what time you expect her home.

Healthy Bodies

• Encourage your teen to get enough sleep and physical activity, and to eat healthy, balanced meals. Make sure your teen gets 1 hour or more of physical activity each day.
• Keep television sets out of your teen’s bedroom.
• Encourage your teen to have meals with the family. Eating together will help your teen make better choices about the foods she eats, promote healthy weight, and give family members time to talk with each other. In addition, a teen who eats meals with the family is more likely to get better grades and less likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs, and also less likely to get into fights, think about suicide, or engage in sexual activity.