How well you and your doctor communicate with each other is one of the most important parts of getting good health care. Being prepared can help you make the most of your visit, whether it is in person or through telehealth. Here are some things you can do to make the most of your appointment:

• Make lists of your concerns, any allergies and all the medicines, herbs, or vitamins you take
• Write down a description of symptoms - when they started, what makes them better, what makes them worse, etc.
• Ask a trusted friend or family member to be with you during the appointment
• Take notes during your appointment
• Learn how to access your medical records, so you can keep track of test results, diagnoses, treatments plans, and medicines
• Ask for your doctor's contact information and find out the best way to communicate with him or her

Make sure you understand your diagnosis and any treatments. If you don't understand your doctor's responses, ask questions until you do understand. Ask your doctor for written instructions if you need them. Find out where else you can go for further information.

A basic plan can help you make the most of your appointment whether you are starting with a new doctor or continuing with the doctor you’ve seen for years. The following tips will make it easier for you and your doctor to cover everything you need to talk about.

Make a list and prioritize your concerns

Make a list of what you want to discuss. For example, do you have a new symptom you want to ask the doctor about? Do you want to get a flu shot? Are you concerned about how a treatment is affecting your daily life? If you have more than a few items to discuss, put them in order and ask about the most important ones first. Don’t put off the things that are really on your mind until the end of your appointment—bring them up right away!

Take information with you to the doctor

Some doctors suggest you put all your prescription drugs, over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal remedies or supplements in a bag and bring them with you. Others recommend you bring a list of everything you take and the dose. You should also take your insurance cards, names and phone numbers of other doctors you see, and your medical records if the doctor doesn’t already have them.

Consider bringing a family member or friend to the doctor's office

Sometimes it is helpful to bring a family member or close friend with you. Let your family member or friend know in advance what you want from your visit. Your companion can remind you what you planned to discuss with the doctor if you forget. She or he can take notes for you and can help you remember what the doctor said.

Don't let your companion take too strong a role. The visit is between you and the doctor. You may want some time alone with the doctor to discuss personal matters. If you are alone with the doctor during or right after the physical exam, this might be a good time to raise private concerns. Or, you could ask your family member or friend to stay in the waiting room for part of the appointment. For the best results, let your companion know in advance how he or she can be most helpful.

Keep your doctor up to date

Let your doctor know what has happened in your life since your last visit. If you have been treated in the emergency room or by a specialist, tell the doctor right away. Mention any changes you have noticed in your appetite, weight, sleep, or energy level. Also tell the doctor about any recent changes in any medications you take or the effects they have had on you. Use these worksheets to organize your questions and information when talking with your doctor.

Be sure you can see and hear as well as possible

Many older people use glasses or need aids for hearing. Remember to take your eyeglasses to the doctor’s visit. If you have a hearing aid, make sure that it is working well and wear it. Let the doctor and staff know if you have a hard time seeing or hearing. For example, you may want to say: “My hearing makes it hard to understand everything you’re saying. It helps a lot when you speak slowly and face me when you're talking.”

Request an interpreter if you need one

If the doctor you selected or were referred to doesn’t speak your language, ask the doctor’s office to provide an interpreter. Even though some English-speaking doctors know basic medical terms in Spanish or other languages, you may feel more comfortable speaking in your own language, especially when it comes to sensitive subjects, such as sexuality or depression. Call the doctor’s office ahead of time, as they may need to plan for an interpreter to be available.

Always let the doctor, your interpreter, or the staff know if you do not understand your diagnosis or the instructions the doctor gives you. Don’t let language barriers stop you from asking questions or voicing your concerns.

Talking about your health means sharing information about how you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally. Knowing how to describe your symptoms and bring up other concerns will help you become a partner in your health care.

Share any symptoms you have

A symptom is evidence of a disease or disorder in the body. Examples of symptoms include pain, fever, a lump or bump, unexplained weight loss or gain, or having a hard time sleeping.

Be clear and concise when describing your symptoms. Your description helps the doctor identify the problem. A physical exam and medical tests provide valuable information, but your symptoms point the doctor in the right direction.

Your doctor will ask when your symptoms started, what time of day they happen, how long they last (seconds? days?), how often they occur, if they seem to be getting worse or better, and if they keep you from going out or doing your usual activities.

Take the time to make some notes about your symptoms before you call or visit the doctor. Worrying about your symptoms is not a sign of weakness. Being honest about what you are experiencing doesn't mean that you are complaining. The doctor needs to know how you feel.

Questions to ask yourself about your symptoms:

• What exactly are my symptoms?
• Are the symptoms constant? If not, when do I experience them?
• Does anything I do make the symptoms better? Or worse?
• Do the symptoms affect my daily activities? Which ones? How?

Give information about all your medications

It is possible for medicines to interact, causing unpleasant and sometimes dangerous side effects. Your doctor needs to know about ALL of the medicines you take, including over-the-counter (nonprescription) drugs and herbal remedies or supplements. Make a list or bring everything with you to your visit—don't forget about eye drops, vitamins, and laxatives. Tell the doctor how often you take each. Describe any drug allergies or reactions you have had. Say which medications work best for you. Be sure your doctor has the phone number of the pharmacy you use.

Tell the doctor about your habits

To provide the best care, your doctor must understand you as a person and know what your life is like. The doctor may ask about where you live, what you eat, how you sleep, what you do each day, what activities you enjoy, what your sex life is like, and if you smoke or drink. Be open and honest with your doctor. It will help him or her to understand your medical conditions fully and recommend the best treatment choices for you.

Share other concerns in your life with your doctor

Your health has a big impact on other parts of your life. Your doctor may ask you how your life is going. This isn't being impolite or nosy. Information about what's happening in your life may be useful medically. Let the doctor know about any major changes or stresses in your life, such as a divorce or the death of a loved one. You don't have to go into detail; you may want to say something like: "It might be helpful for you to know that my sister passed away since my last visit with you," or "I recently had to sell my home and move in with my daughter."

The coronavirus pandemic and physical distancing requirements can also bring about feelings of loneliness and social isolation. These feelings are associated with higher risk for depression, anxiety, and heart disease. It is important to let your doctor know when these feelings occur and how often.

You may have some concerns or wishes about your care if you become seriously ill. If you have questions about what choices you have, ask your doctor. You can specify your desires through legal documents called advance directives. In general, the best time to talk with your doctor about these issues is while you are still relatively healthy. Medicare and private health insurance may cover these discussions with your doctor. One way to bring up the subject is to say: “I’m worried about what would happen in the hospital if I were very sick and not likely to get better. Can you tell me what generally happens in that case?”

Another hard decision that many older people face is whether or not to move to a place where they can have more help—often an assisted living facility. If you are considering such a move, your doctor can help you weigh the pros and cons based on your health and other circumstances. He or she may be able to refer you to a social worker or a local agency that can help in finding an assisted living facility.

Much of the communication between doctor and patient is personal. To have a good partnership with your doctor, it is important to talk about sensitive subjects, like sex or memory problems, even if you are embarrassed or uncomfortable. Most doctors are used to talking about personal matters and will try to ease your discomfort. Keep in mind that these topics concern many older people.

It is important to understand that problems with memory, depression, sexual function, and incontinence are not necessarily normal parts of aging. A good doctor will take your concerns about these topics seriously and not brush them off. If you think your doctor isn’t taking your concerns seriously, talk to him or her about your feelings or consider looking for a new doctor. Read on for examples of ways to bring up these subjects during your appointment.

Alcohol

Anyone at any age can have a drinking problem. Alcohol can have a greater effect as a person grows older because the aging process affects how the body handles alcohol. People can also develop a drinking problem later in life due to major life changes like the death of loved ones. Talk with your doctor if you think you may be developing a drinking problem. You could say: “Lately, I’ve been wanting to have a drink earlier and earlier in the afternoon, and I find it’s getting harder to stop after just one or two. What kind of treatments could help with this?”

Driving

Driving is an important part of everyday life for many people, and making the decision to stop driving can be very difficult. Tell your doctor if you or people close to you are concerned about your driving and why. He or she can go over your medical conditions and medications to see if there are treatable problems that may be contributing to driving difficulties.

Falling and fear of falling

A fall can be a serious event, often leading to injury and loss of independence, at least for a while. For this reason, many older people develop a fear of falling. Studies show that fear of falling can keep people from going about their normal activities and, as a result, they may become frailer, which actually increases their risk of falling again. If fear of falling is affecting your day-to-day life, let your doctor know. He or she may be able to recommend some things to do to reduce your chances of falling. Exercises can help you improve your balance and strengthen your muscles, at any age.

Regular exercise makes you stronger and can help you prevent falls.

Feeling unhappy with your doctor

Misunderstandings can come up in any relationship, including between a patient and doctor or the doctor’s staff. If you feel uncomfortable with something your doctor or his or her staff has said or done, be direct. For example, if the doctor does not return your telephone calls, you may want to say something like this: “I realize that you care for a lot of patients and are very busy, but I feel frustrated when I have to wait for days for you to return my call. Is there a way we can work together to improve this?”

Being honest is much better for your health than avoiding the doctor. If you have a long-standing relationship with your doctor, working out the problem may be more useful than looking for a new doctor.

Grief, mourning, and depression

As people grow older, they may lose significant people in their lives, including spouses and cherished friends. Or, they may have to move away from home or give up favorite activities. A doctor who knows about your losses is better able to understand how you are feeling. He or she can make suggestions that may be helpful to you.

Although it is normal to mourn when you have a loss, later life does not have to be a time of ongoing sadness. If you feel sad all the time or for more than a few weeks, let your doctor know. Also, tell your doctor about symptoms such as lack of energy, poor appetite, trouble sleeping, or little interest in life. These could be signs of depression, which is a medical condition.

Depression is a common problem among older adults, but it is NOT a normal part of aging. Depression may be common, especially when people experience losses, but it is also treatable. It should not be considered normal at any age. Let your doctor know about your feelings and ask about treatment.

Learn more about how to stay connected if you are experiencing loneliness and social isolation.

HIV/AIDS

After divorce, separation, or the death of a spouse, some older people may find themselves dating again, and possibly having sex with a new partner. It’s a good idea to talk with your doctor about how safe sex can reduce your risk of sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS. It’s important to practice safe sex, no matter what your age.

Incontinence

Older people sometimes have problems controlling their bladder. This is called urinary incontinence and it can often be treated. If you have trouble controlling your bladder or bowels, it is important to let the doctor know. To bring up the topic, you could say something like: “Since my last visit, there have been several times when I couldn’t control my bladder.”

Memory problems

Many older people worry about their ability to think and remember. For most older adults, thinking and memory remain relatively intact in later years. However, if you or your family notice that you are having problems remembering recent events or thinking clearly, let your doctor know. Be specific about the changes you’ve noticed. For example, you could say: “I’ve always been able to balance my checkbook without any problems, but lately I’m very confused.” Your doctor will probably want you to have a thorough check-up to see what might be causing your symptoms.

Problems with family

Even strong and loving families can have problems, especially under the stress of illness. Although family problems can be painful to discuss, talking about them can help your doctor help you.

If you feel that a family member or caregiver is taking advantage of you or mistreating you, let your doctor know. Some older people are abused by family members or others. Abuse can be physical, verbal, emotional, or even financial in nature. Your doctor may be able to provide resources or referrals to other services that can help if you are being mistreated.

Sexuality

Most health professionals now understand that sexuality remains important in later life. If you are not satisfied with your sex life, don’t just assume it’s due to your age. In addition to talking about age-related changes, you can ask your doctor about the effects of an illness or a disability on sexual function. Also, ask your doctor about the influence medications or surgery may have on your sex life.

If you aren’t sure how to bring the topic up, try saying: “I have a personal question I would like to ask you...” or “I understand that this condition or medication can affect my body in many ways. Will it affect my sex life at all?”

Doctors and other health professionals may suggest you change your diet, activity level, or other aspects of your life to help you deal with medical conditions. Research has shown that these changes, particularly an increase in exercise, have positive effects on overall health.

Until recently, preventing disease in older people received little attention. But, things are changing. We now know that it’s never too late to stop smoking, improve your diet, or start exercising. Getting regular checkups and seeing other health professionals, such as dentists and eye specialists, helps promote good health. Even people who have chronic diseases, like arthritis or diabetes, can prevent further disability and, in some cases, control the progress of the disease.

If a certain disease or health condition runs in your family, ask your doctor if there are steps you can take to help prevent it. If you have a chronic condition, ask how you can manage it and if there are things you can do to keep it from getting worse. If you want to discuss health and disease prevention with your doctor, say so when you make your next appointment. This lets the doctor plan to spend more time with you.

It is just as important to talk with your doctor about lifestyle changes as it is to talk about treatment. For example: “I know that you’ve told me to eat more dairy products, but they really disagree with me. Is there something else I could eat instead?” or “Maybe an exercise class would help, but I have no way to get to the senior center. Is there something else you could suggest?”

As with treatments, consider all the alternatives, look at pros and cons, and remember to take into account your own point of view. Tell your doctor if you feel his or her suggestions won’t work for you and explain why. Keep talking with your doctor to come up with a plan that works.

Many doctors now recommend that older people try to make physical activity a part of everyday life. When you are making your list of things to talk about with your doctor, add exercise. Ask how exercise would benefit you, if there are any activities you should avoid, and whether your doctor can recommend any specific kinds of exercise.

Questions to Ask Your Doctor About Prevention

• Is there any way to prevent a condition that runs in my family—before it affects me?
• Are there ways to keep my condition from getting worse?
• How will making a change in my habits help me?
• Are there any risks in making this change?
• Are there support groups or community services that might help me?

Many people search online to find information about medical problems and health issues. However, not all health information on the web is of equal quality. Read about how to find websites that are accurate and reliable. Don’t forget to talk with your doctor about what you’ve learned online.

Sometimes, doctors need to do blood tests, x-rays, or other procedures to find out what is wrong or to learn more about your medical condition. Some tests, such as Pap tests, mammograms, glaucoma tests, and screenings for prostate and colorectal cancer, are done regularly to check for hidden medical problems.

Before having a medical test, ask your doctor to explain why it is important, what it will show, and what it will cost. Ask what kind of things you need to do to prepare for the test. For example, you may need to have an empty stomach, or you may have to provide a urine sample. Ask how you will be notified of the test results and how long they will take to come in.

Questions to Ask Your Doctor Before a Medical Test

• Why is the test being done?
• What steps does the test involve? How should I get ready?
• Are there any dangers or side effects?
• How will I find out the results? How long will it take to get the results?
• What will we know after the test?

When the results are ready, make sure the doctor tells you what they are and explains what they mean. You may want to ask your doctor for a written copy of the test results. If the test is done by a specialist, ask to have the results sent to your primary doctor.

A diagnosis identifies your disease or physical problem. The doctor makes a diagnosis based on the symptoms you are experiencing and the results of the physical exam, laboratory work, and other tests.

If you understand your medical condition, you can help make better decisions about treatment. If you know what to expect, it may be easier for you to deal with the condition.

Ask the doctor to tell you the name of the condition and why he or she thinks you have it. Ask how it may affect you and how long it might last. Some medical problems never go away completely. They can't be cured, but they can be treated or managed.

Questions to Ask Your Doctor About Your Diagnosis

• What may have caused this condition? Will it be permanent?
• How is this condition treated or managed? What will be the long-term effects on my life?
• How can I learn more about my condition?

Your doctor may prescribe a drug for your condition. Make sure you know the name of the drug and understand why it has been prescribed for you. Ask the doctor to write down how often and for how long you should take it.

Make notes about any other special instructions. If you are taking other medications, make sure your doctor knows what they are, so he or she can prevent harmful drug interactions. Check with your doctor's office before taking any over-the-counter medications.

Let the doctor know if your medicine doesn't seem to be working or if it is causing problems. If you want to stop taking your medicine, check with your doctor first.

You will benefit most from a treatment when you know what is happening and are involved in making decisions. Make sure you understand what your treatment involves and what it will or will not do. Have the doctor give you directions in writing and feel free to ask questions. For example: “What are the pros and cons of having surgery at this stage?” or “Do I have any other choices?”

If your doctor suggests a treatment that makes you uncomfortable, ask if there are other treatments that might work. If cost is a concern, ask the doctor if less expensive choices are available. The doctor can work with you to develop a treatment plan that meets your needs.

Here are some things to remember when deciding on a treatment:

• Discuss different treatment choices. There are different ways to manage many health conditions, especially chronic conditions like high blood pressure and cholesterol. Ask what your options are.
• Discuss risks and benefits of treatment options. Once you know your options, ask about the pros and cons of each one. Find out what side effects might occur, how long the treatment would continue, and how likely it is that the treatment will work for you.
• Consider how a treatment may affect your life. When thinking about the pros and cons of a treatment, don’t forget to consider its impact on your overall life. For instance, will one of the side effects interfere with a regular activity that means a lot to you? Is one treatment choice expensive and not covered by your insurance? Doctors need to know about these practical matters so they can work with you to develop a treatment plan that meets your needs.

Questions to Ask About Treatment Options

• Are there any risks associated with the treatment?
• How soon should treatment start? How long will it last?
• Are there other treatments available?
• How much will the treatment cost? Will my insurance cover it?

Your doctor may send you to a specialist for further evaluation, or you may request to see a specialist yourself. Your insurance plan may require you to have a referral from your primary doctor. A visit to the specialist may be short. Often, the specialist already has seen your medical records or test results and is familiar with your case. If you are unclear about what the specialist tells you, ask questions.

For example, if the specialist says you have a medical condition that you aren’t familiar with, you may want to say something like: “I don’t know much about that condition. Could you explain what it is and how it might affect me?” or “I’ve heard that is a painful problem. What can be done to prevent or manage the pain?”

You also may ask for written materials to read, or you can call your primary doctor to clarify anything you haven’t understood.

Ask the specialist to send information about any diagnosis or treatment to your primary doctor. This allows your primary doctor to keep track of your medical care. You also should let your primary doctor know at your next visit how well any treatments or medications the specialist recommended are working.

Questions to Ask Your Specialist

• What is my diagnosis?
• What treatment do you recommend? How soon do I need to begin the new treatment?
• Will you discuss my care with my primary doctor?

In some cases, surgery may be the best treatment for your condition. If so, your doctor will refer you to a surgeon. Knowing more about the operation will help you make an informed decision about how to proceed. It also will help you get ready for the surgery, which makes for a better recovery.

Ask the surgeon to explain what will be done during the operation and what reading material, videos, or websites you can look at before the operation.

Find out if you will have to stay overnight in the hospital or if the surgery can be done on an outpatient basis. Will you need someone to drive you home? Minor surgeries that don’t require an overnight stay can sometimes be done at medical centers called ambulatory surgical centers.

Questions to Ask Your Surgeon

• What is the success rate of the operation? How many of these operations have you done successfully?
• What problems occur with this surgery? What kind of pain or discomfort can I expect?
• What kind of anesthesia will I have? Are there any risks associated with its use in older people?
• Will I have to stay in the hospital overnight? How long is recovery expected to take? What does it involve? When can I get back to my normal routine?

When patients are diagnosed with a serious illness or surgery is recommended, patients often seek a second opinion. Hearing the views of two different doctors can help you decide what’s best for you. In fact, your insurance plan may require it. Doctors are used to this practice, and most will not be insulted by your request for a second opinion. Your doctor may even be able to suggest other doctors who can review your case.

Always remember to check with your insurance provider in advance to find out if a second opinion is covered under your policy, if there are restrictions on which doctors you can see, and if you need a referral form from your primary doctor.

Do you have questions about palliative care and hospice? Read about how to care for the seriously ill.

Have you ever left your doctor’s office realizing you forgot to ask an important question? Or were you frustrated because you didn’t fully understand the doctor’s instructions? These tips may help.

1. Decide what questions are most important to ask the doctor

Before your appointment, pick three or four questions or concerns that you most want to talk about with the doctor. You can tell him or her what they are at the beginning of the appointment, and then discuss each in turn. If you have time, you can then go on to other questions.

2. Stay focused on why you are there

Although your doctor might like to talk with you at length, each patient is given a limited amount of time. To make the best use of your time, stick to the point. For instance, give the doctor a brief description of the symptom, when it started, how often it happens, and if it is getting worse or better.

3. Be honest with your doctor

It is tempting to say what you think the doctor wants to hear, for example, that you smoke less or eat a more balanced diet than you really do. While this is natural, it’s not in your best interest. If you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, it's important to come out to your doctor, as people who are LGBT have unique health needs. Your doctor can suggest the best treatment only if you say what is really going on. For instance, you might say: “I have been trying to quit smoking, as you recommended, but I am not making much headway.”

4. Share your point of view about the visit with your doctor

Tell the doctor if you feel rushed, worried, or uncomfortable. If necessary, you can offer to return for a second visit to discuss your concerns. Try to voice your feelings in a positive way. For example, you could say something like: “I know you have many patients to see, but I’m really worried about this. I’d feel much better if we could talk about it a little more.”

5. Remember, the doctor may not be able to answer all your questions

Even the best doctor may be unable to answer some questions. Most doctors will tell you when they don’t have answers. They also may help you find the information you need or refer you to a specialist. If a doctor regularly brushes off your questions or symptoms as simply a part of aging, think about looking for another doctor.

Many older adults find it helpful when a family member or friend goes with them to the doctor's office. In some cases, all the person needs is a ride, and you can wait in the lobby. Other times, the person may want or need you to talk to the doctor with them. This article provides tips that will help you be an ally and an advocate when you accompany someone to a medical appointment.

Talking with health care providers

First, you will need to make sure that the person’s health care providers have permission to speak with you. There are federal and state laws that protect a person’s private medical information. If the person would like their health care providers to share information with you, here’s what you can do:

• If you go with the person to an appointment, they can tell the doctor verbally that they agree to have you there. The person can also tell the health care provider that it’s okay to share information with you later.
• If you want to access a person’s medical records or speak with a provider when the person isn’t there, you will need to get legal permission.
• Most doctor’s offices and hospitals have a consent form (sometimes called a HIPAA release or a HIPAA waiver) to specify who can have access to a person’s private medical information. Ask the older person to provide your name and contact information on this form at each provider’s office.
• In some cases, it might make sense to get a medical power of attorney. This will enable you to access information and make health care decisions on the person’s behalf. Make sure all the person’s health care providers have a copy of the legal document.

How to prepare for a doctor’s visit

Gather important information beforehand and take it with you to the appointment:

• Take the person’s insurance cards, names and phone numbers of other doctors they see, and their medical records if the doctor doesn’t already have them. You may want to ask the doctor to send you all the forms the person will need to complete for their visit.
• Bring a list with the names, dosage, and schedule of all medicines, vitamins, herbal remedies, over-the-counter drugs, and dietary supplements the older adult is taking. Don’t forget to include those prescribed by other doctors.
• Make sure the person remembers to take their eyeglasses or contact lenses to the doctor’s visit. If they have a hearing aid, make sure that it is working well and they’re wearing it. Tell the person to let the doctor and staff know if they have a hard time seeing or hearing.
• Make a list of any questions or concerns that the older adult or other caregivers would like to bring up with the doctor.

If the doctor doesn’t speak the person’s language, ask the office staff to provide an interpreter. Call the doctor’s office ahead of time because they may need to plan for an interpreter from the same area or country to be available. Ensuring that the older adult can easily understand and talk with the interpreter is important for getting good care.

What to do during a doctor’s visit

Here are several ways you could be helpful during the appointment:

• Bring your list of questions, starting with the most important ones, and take notes on what the doctor recommends. Writing things down will help both you and the older person remember what the doctor said, and you can share the information with other caregivers later.
• When the doctor asks a question, let the older adult answer unless you have been asked to do so.
• It’s easy to get into a two-way conversation between you and the doctor — try not to do this. Always include the person you care for when you talk with the doctor.
• Respect the person’s privacy and leave the room when requested. The person may want a chance to ask questions or discuss sensitive topics privately with their doctor. Read more about talking with your doctor about sensitive issues.

What to do after a doctor’s visit

There are many ways to follow up after the appointment. For example:

• If you live out of town, talk to the doctor about how you can keep up to date on the older adult’s health. With the person’s permission, it might be helpful to get access to their electronic health records.
• Ask the doctor for written materials to take home and see if they can recommend community resources, if needed.
• Find help and support. Larger medical practices, hospitals, and nursing homes often have a social worker on staff who may have valuable suggestions about online or community services.