Today, many of us find ourselves overworked, stretched with family obligations, exposed to 24/7 news cycles, and worried about the future. These stressors, among many others, can lead us to feel emotionally exhausted and leave us vulnerable to developing psychological conditions such as anxiety, insomnia, and depression. Science indicates mindfulness – often defined as paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and without judgment – can help.

Mindfulness Awareness

Maintaining present-moment attention can be challenging. It is important to remember that mindfulness is a skill that can be learned and practiced through meditation and in daily life.

Human beings are wired to plan for the future and reflect on the past. Multiple studies have found that many people spend 30 to 50 percent of our waking hours thinking about the past or the future.

Benefits of Mindfulness

People who have higher levels of mindfulness tend to experience:

• Better sleep quality and physical health.
• Lower depression, anxiety, and perceived stress.
• Fewer psychological healthcare visits.

Like physical exercise, the benefits of mindfulness meditation depend on regular rather than sporadic practice. With regular practice, incremental benefits are within your reach.

Deep breathing, mindfulness, and a practice of gratitude are some of the most effective ways to manage stress and take care of your emotional health.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness means being present with your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment. Mindfulness is also without judgement—meaning there is no right or wrong way to think or feel in a given moment. When we practice mindfulness, our thoughts tune into what we’re sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future.

Anything that keeps you present in the moment and gives your prefrontal cortex (the reasoning and thinking part of your brain) a break is practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness can be a slow walk; looking intently at the grass, trees, flowers, or buildings; and being aware of what you are sensing and feeling. Mindfulness can be sitting quietly—even sitting still in a quiet place for as little as a few minutes can reduce heart rate and blood pressure.

Developing a practice of mindfulness is easier than you may think:

• Slow down. From brushing your teeth, to washing your face, to shampooing your hair—can you take the speed out of getting ready in the morning? Focus on the activity, pay attention to what you are doing, stay present (this means don’t think about what happened last night or what’s in store for the day, just stay focused on the activity), and take your time.
• Focus on your breath. How fast are you breathing? Is your breath coming from your chest or your belly? Can you feel the air come through your nose on the inhale? Can you slow down the exhale? Can you feel your body relax when you slow the exhale?
• Connect to your environment. Walk for a few minutes, focused on the world around you—look at the leaves on the trees or the light at the corner, listen to the sounds around you, stay with your surroundings, and observe what you see and hear around you.

“We can’t change the world, at least not quickly, but we can change our brains. By practicing mindfulness all of us have the capacity to develop a deeper sense of calm.”

— Rick Hanson, author, Resilient

Deep Breathing

When people hear mindfulness they often think meditation. While meditation is one method of mindfulness, there are many others that may be simpler and easier for you to practice. Deep breathing helps lower stress and reduce anxiety, and it is simple yet very powerful. A daily mindful breathing practice has been shown to reduce test anxiety in college students. A 2-4-6-8 breathing pattern is a very useful tool that can be used to help bring a sense of calm and to help mild to moderate anxiety. It takes almost no time, requires no equipment, and can be done anywhere:

• Start by quickly exhaling any air in your lungs (to the count of 2).
• Breathing in through your nose, inhale to the count of 4.
• Hold your breath for a count of 6.
• Slowly exhale through your mouth to the count of 8.

This is one round. Do not repeat the quick exhale again. Instead start round two with an inhale through your nose to the count of 4, hold for 6, and exhale to 8. Repeat for three more rounds to relax your body and mind.

With practice, 2-4-6-8 breathing will become a useful tool for times when you experience tension or stress.

Meditation

Dan Harris, a news reporter at ABC, fell into drug use and suffered a major panic attack on national television. Following this embarrassing period in his life, he learned to meditate and found that it made him calmer and more resilient. He’s now on a mission to make meditation approachable to everyone. Dan used to be a skeptic about meditation but now says that if he learned to meditate, anyone can learn to meditate! Dan reminds us that we ARE going to get lost, and our mind IS going to stray, and that’s ok. Simply notice when you’re lost and start over. Every time your mind strays and your start over, it is like a bicep curl for your brain. Start with 3 minutes and slowly work your way up to 15 or 20. 

Some great meditation apps include Insight Timer, CALM, and Headspace.

Gratitude

Too often people think it is the external factors that bring us joy and happiness, when really it’s all related to internal work. According to UCLA’s Mindfulness Awareness Research Center, “Having an attitude of gratitude changes the molecular structure of the brain, and makes us healthier and happier. When you feel happiness, the central nervous system is affected. You are more peaceful, less reactive and less resistant.”

Numerous studies show that people who count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed. In a UC Berkeley study, researchers recruited 300 people who were experiencing emotional or mental health challenges and randomly divided them into three groups. All three groups received counseling services. The first group also wrote a letter of gratitude every week for three weeks. The second group wrote about their thoughts and feelings with negative experiences. The third group received only counseling. The people in the group who wrote gratitude letters reported significantly better mental health for up to 12 weeks after the writing exercise ended.

This would suggest that a healthy emotional self-care practice is to take note of good experiences or when you see something that makes you smile. Think about why the experience feels so good. According to Rick Hanson, author of Resilient, “Each day is strewn with little jewels. The idea is to see them and pick them up. When you notice something positive, stay with the feeling for 30 seconds. Feel the emotions in your whole body. Maybe your heart feels lighter or you’re smiling. The more you can deepen and lengthen positive experiences the longer those positivity neurons in your brain are firing—and the longer they fire the stronger the underlying neural networks become. Repeat that process a half dozen times a day and you’ll feel stronger, more stable and calmer within a few weeks.”

At some point in your life, someone probably told you: “Enjoy every moment. Life is short.” Maybe you’ve smiled and rolled your eyes at this well-intentioned relative or co-worker. But the fact is, there’s something to it. Trying to enjoy each moment may actually be good for your health.

The idea is called mindfulness. This ancient practice is about being completely aware of what’s happening in the present—of all that’s going on inside and all that’s happening around you. It means not living your life on “autopilot.” Instead, you experience life as it unfolds moment to moment, good and bad, and without judgment or preconceived notions.

“Many of us go through our lives without really being present in the moment,” says Dr. Margaret Chesney of the University of California, San Francisco. She’s studying how mindfulness affects health. “What is valuable about mindfulness is that it is accessible and can be helpful to so many people.”

Studies suggest that mindfulness practices may help people manage stress, cope better with serious illness and reduce anxiety and depression. Many people who practice mindfulness report an increased ability to relax, a greater enthusiasm for life and improved self-esteem.

One NIH-supported study found a link between mindfulness meditation and measurable changes in the brain regions involved in memory, learning and emotion. Another NIH-funded researcher reported that mindfulness practices may reduce anxiety and hostility among urban youth and lead to reduced stress, fewer fights and better relationships.

A major benefit of mindfulness is that it encourages you to pay attention to your thoughts, your actions and your body. For example, studies have shown that mindfulness can help people achieve and maintain a healthy weight. “It is so common for people to watch TV and eat snack food out of the box without really attending to how much they are eating,” says Chesney. “With mindful eating, you eat when you’re hungry, focus on each bite, enjoy your food more and stop when you’re full.”

Finding time for mindfulness in our culture, however, can be a challenge. We tend to place great value on how much we can do at once and how fast. Still, being more mindful is within anyone’s reach.

You can practice mindfulness throughout the day, even while answering e-mails, sitting in traffic or waiting in line. All you have to do is become more aware—of your breath, of your feet on the ground, of your fingers typing, of the people and voices around you.

Chesney notes that as people start to learn how to be more mindful, it’s common and normal to realize how much your mind races and focuses on the past and future. You can just notice those thoughts and then return to the present moment. It is these little, regular steps that add up and start to create a more mindful, healthy life.

So, before you roll your eyes again, take a moment and consider mindfulness.

Being Mindful

The concept of mindfulness is simple, but becoming a more mindful person requires commitment and practice. Here are some tips to help you get started:

• Take some deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose to a count of 4, hold for 1 second and then exhale through the mouth to a count of 5. Repeat often.
• Enjoy a stroll. As you walk, notice your breath and the sights and sounds around you. As thoughts and worries enter your mind, note them but then return to the present.
• Practice mindful eating. Be aware of taste, textures and flavors in each bite, and listen to your body when you are hungry and full.
• Find mindfulness resources in your local community, including yoga and meditation classes, mindfulness-based stress reduction programs and books.

Paying attention to what’s going on right this second can be hard. We often spend more time thinking about what’s coming up in the future. Or dwelling on things in the past we can’t change. We can miss out on experiencing the present.

It’s possible to train yourself to focus on the present moment. You become aware of what’s going on inside and around you—your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and environment. You observe these moments without judgment. This is called mindfulness.

“We’re looking at our thoughts and feelings with curiosity, gentleness, and kindness,” explains Dr. Eric Loucks, director of the Mindfulness Center at Brown University.

Mindfulness has its roots in Buddhist meditation. Meditation is a practice that aims to increase awareness of the mind and concentration.

In recent years, mindfulness has become a household term. Mindfulness programs are now commonly found in schools, workplaces, and hospitals.

Mindfulness can involve a sitting meditation that’s practiced in a quiet space. In this practice, you focus on your breathing or sensations in your body. If your mind wanders—like thoughts popping in about things you need to do—you try to return your mind to the present moment.

But mindfulness doesn’t have to be done sitting still or in silence. You can integrate the practice into things you do every day, like walking or eating. You can also be mindful while interacting with others.

Health Benefits of Mindfulness

Studies suggest that focusing on the present can have a positive impact on health and well-being.

Mindfulness-based treatments have been shown to reduce anxiety and depression. There’s also evidence that mindfulness can lower blood pressure and improve sleep. It may even help people cope with pain.

“For many chronic illnesses, mindfulness meditation seems to improve quality of life and reduce mental health symptoms,” says Dr. Zev Schuman-Olivier of Harvard University.

One of the first mindfulness-based therapies was used for depression. Many studies have shown that it can be effective for some people.

Mindfulness appears to help with depression in two ways. First, it helps you develop the ability to stay grounded in the present, explains Dr. Sona Dimidjian of the University of Colorado Boulder. She studies the use of mindfulness-based treatments to prevent relapse of depression, including among pregnant women.

With depression, “your attention can get hijacked into the past or future,” she explains. You spend time focusing on past negative experiences or worrying about things to come.

Second, mindfulness can help you “de-center” from such thoughts. “It’s like being able to sit on the riverbank and watch thoughts floating by like leaves on a stream,” Dimidjian says. “Developing the skill of mindfulness can help stop you from being pulled into any one thought and carried down the stream. People often experience thoughts like, ‘nothing ever works out for me,’ or ‘it’s always going to be this way. Over time, and with practice, you can develop the ability to stand back from these painful thought patterns.”

Researchers are now studying whether mindfulness training can help with a variety of other conditions, including PTSD, eating disorders, and addiction.

Schuman-Olivier is looking at whether mindfulness can help reduce anxiety among people being treated for opioid use. This could help prevent relapse.

Developing Healthy Habits

Being mindful may also help you make healthier choices. Loucks’s team at Brown created an eight-week mindfulness program for people with high blood pressure.

They studied whether the program increased participants’ awareness of their habits. This included how they ate. The study found that participants chose a healthier diet after taking the course.

You can bring mindfulness to your eating habits, too. Studies suggest that it can help reduce binge eating and emotional eating. Paying closer attention to your body can help you notice signals that you’re full and help you better enjoy your food.

This body awareness seems to be one part of how mindfulness helps people adopt healthier habits. If you’ve just eaten a jelly donut, you may be more likely to notice an unpleasant sugar crash, Loucks explains. Remembering this can help you to make better food choices in the future.

This goes for positive feelings too. “With physical activity, just about everybody feels better afterwards. So, with mindfulness training we’re aware of it improving our mood, and then we can use that reward to actually train ourselves,” Loucks says.

Mindfulness may also help with setting a goal. “We can place our mind on being more active or eating more fruits and vegetables. And if we place our intention there, it may be more likely that we’re going to carry through and make it happen,” Loucks explains.

Learning To Be Mindful

If you want to practice mindfulness, there are many online programs and apps. But they’re not all created equal. Experts suggest looking for resources from medical schools and universities. Check to see if they’re evidence-based.

Dimidjian’s team developed an eight-week self-guided online mindfulness program. Her studies showed that the program helped reduce symptoms of depression more than a standard treatment alone.

“If you end up having difficulty with an app, though, don’t take it personally or think that you’re somehow bad at mindfulness, or it’s not meant for you,” Schuman-Olivier says. You can also try finding a teacher or someone with the skills to guide you in mindfulness training.

And just like any skill, mindfulness takes practice. “Just because something is simple, doesn’t mean that it’s easy,” Dimidjian says.

Mental training can take time and dedication. Aim for a few minutes of mindfulness each day to start.

A body scan meditation can be a good way to connect with your body. It helps make you aware of how your body feels as you mentally scan from head to toe.

Start in a comfortable position with your eyes closed. Take several deep breaths. Then, notice your feet. How do they feel?

Let your scan travel up your body—legs, stomach, arms, hands, neck, and finally, head. Notice any sensations or discomfort. Try not to change or judge these feelings—you’re simply checking in. Doing body scans on a regular basis can help increase mindfulness.

For more tips on practicing mindfulness, see the Wise Choices Box.

Being Mindful

Becoming more mindful requires practice. Here are some tips to help you get started:

• Take some deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose to a count of 4, hold for 1 second and then exhale through the mouth to a count of 5. Repeat often.
• Enjoy a stroll. As you walk, pay attention to your breath and the sights and sounds around you. If thoughts and worries enter your mind, note them but then return to the present.
• Practice mindful eating. Be aware of taste, textures, and flavors in each bite. Listen to when your body is hungry and full.
• Do a body scan. Bring your attention to how each part of your body is feeling. This can help you connect with your body.
• Find mindfulness resources including online programs and teacher-guided practices.

Many of us are pretty rough on ourselves. We think things about ourselves we’d never say to family, friends, or co-workers. It’s a behavior that’s worth taking the time to change.

Self-affirmation is something we all need and a little self-reflection and positive self-talk can have a big impact. But remember to make sure that self-talk is based in reality. For example, you shouldn’t be telling yourself you’re a world class chef just because you made your first successful omelet.

Why is self-talk so important? How others see us is largely dependent upon how we see ourselves. If you are not getting the job promotions, the relationships, or respect you want out of life, it might be due to your own negative self-talk.

Know the Root Causes of Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is often a carryover from childhood. Growing up can be a tough time with the stress of getting good grades, peer pressure, and the self-esteem challenges faced by most children and teens. Perhaps you were bullied at school, or shy and did not make friends easily, maybe your parents were hard on you or compared you unfavorably with an older sibling.

Whatever the case, the narrative of how we see ourselves is written well before we enter high school and is on standby each time we are faced with a new challenge or opportunity.

Be Your Own Biggest Fan

The next time you complete a project or assignment that you feel good about, don’t wait around for the boss to pat you on the back or throw you a party. Reward yourself.

• Take yourself and your significant other out to dinner and celebrate.
• Schedule some well-deserved time off.
• Buy yourself flowers for your desk or bring in your favorite treat to share.
• Be your biggest fan and tell yourself, “Hey, I did a pretty awesome job on that project!”

Take pride in your work and yourself. The way you feel about your contributions at work or personal goals will influence your outlook, your mood, and your energy level. Did you know that confidence doesn’t originate in how others perceive us, but in how we perceive ourselves?

Changing the way you talk to yourself can actually change how others talk to you. In other words, when we beat up on ourselves or we use any form of self-deprecating language – we actually open the door for others to not only see us that way, but to tell us we are that way.

Lose Self-Defeating Words from Your Vocabulary

Absolutist language closes doors to possibilities, while ambiguous language gives you an escape clause.

Remove the following words out of your conversation with yourself and others:

• Never
• Always
• Cannot/Can’t
• Try

You Can Self-Talk Your Way to Success

Whether it’s a job promotion, health or fitness goals, or improving your financial situation, the outcome depends on how you promote these goals to yourself. That doesn’t mean positive self-talk is a magic incantation. You may not get that job promotion, or meet that fitness or financial goal; however, the words you use in your self-talk about disappointments will have an effect on your confidence level when it comes to the next goal. Think of the “no’s” and the “thanks, but no thanks” in life as opportunities, rather than obstacles.

Life can throw you for a loop when you least expect it, and you may have the most extreme reactions to a setback when everything is going great.

For some, maintaining a positive attitude and bouncing back is fairly easy. Others lack the resiliency to quickly make the transition from feeling life will never be right again, to not only seeing that there is a way out but having the ability to establish a plan of action to make it happen.

What do some have that others do not? The key to bouncing back after a setback may well be how we live our lives before a setback, and with guidance and practice you can develop the skills and habits of mind you need to handle setbacks more positively.

Building Resilience

Not everyone is created equal in terms of being able to manage a setback. Some come from supportive family backgrounds where resiliency occurs more naturally, others do not. However, this doesn’t mean all is lost for those who grow up in a less than positive environment. Facing adversity may help you learn and build resilience skills that can help you manage better when faced with both large and small setbacks.

The expectation of getting back to normal after life knocks you down implies that “normal” is a stable state of being. We all know that person who gets hit with bad news and then comes to work in a few days, just thankful to be alive and seemingly able to go on as usual.

For people who seem to take whatever life hands them in relative good stride, the odds are they’re able to do that because they’re living a positive lifestyle every day:

• Eating a healthy diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, healthy fats, and lean protein
• Getting regular exercise
• Spending time outdoors going for a walk, playing a sport, gardening, or enjoying good weather
• Taking down time to relax and refresh by putting down their phone, turning off the TV and computer, and just taking it easy
• Getting enough sleep every night
• Enjoying time with family and friends
• Investing in “me” time doing something relaxing like reading, meditation, or a hobby

Knowing Your Limits Can Reduce the Risk of Reaching Your Limit

We all experience days when we just do not want to take part in life, work, even family. It’s not easy to take a break from our responsibilities, and even when we can, we may feel guilty. Before you find yourself at your mental limit, consider taking a mental health day. Being aware of your limitations is healthy and necessary to building resilience.

Setbacks happen, and most of us find ourselves feeling let down or even depressed when they do. But rather than focusing on the setback, focus on strategies to integrate the experience and understand your new reality. In time, depending on what the cause of the setback was, you may be able to move past it.

Getting Help

If you or someone you love seems to be unable to manage after a setback, it may be time to make an appointment with a licensed mental health professional who can help you get back on track.

The enduring impact of a traumatic or life-threatening event like a car accident, assault, combat, witnessing the death or near death of another person, natural or man-made disaster, or chronic abuse can significantly change your life both physically and emotionally. It can test your view of the world and your ability to cope, and in some cases, may lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

You may experience some or all of the common symptoms of PTSD, including:

• Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks of the traumatic event
• Avoidance of situations that remind you of the trauma
• Diminished interest in activities and relationships
• A feeling of overall emotional numbness or irritability and anger
• Trouble concentrating and sleeping
• A general feeling the world is not safe.

These symptoms are normal reactions to a traumatic event, however, if they persist beyond 3 to 4 weeks after the trauma or are particularly debilitating, seek help from a mental health professional experienced in treating trauma.

What Is Post Traumatic Growth?

There is a growing body of research that suggests that, for some people, with the passage of time, positive changes may emerge after experiencing a traumatic event. In their groundbreaking research with Vietnam veterans and primary and secondary victims of serious and violent crime, Tedeschi and Calhoun noticed that in the wake of these traumatic events many of their research participants were able to experience growth and reclaim a sense of wellbeing.

They coined the term post-traumatic growth (PTG) to describe these experiences and identified five general areas where growth can take place after a traumatic event, including:

• Reassessing one’s philosophy of life
• Identifying new possibilities for the future
• Appreciating one’s personal strengths and how they were employed to survive or cope with the trauma
• Experiencing a new spiritual awareness and appreciation for life
• Engaging in new and improved relationships with others

Understanding the concept of post-traumatic growth can provide a language that can help people who experience trauma understand and express the positive changes that can take place in the wake of the experience. These changes can be empowering and healing and lessen feelings of depression, isolation, and anxiety. They can also increase levels of confidence and positive emotions.

The concept of post-traumatic growth is not meant to suggest that experiencing a traumatic or life-threatening event is easy to recover from or that there is a defined timeline for healing and recovery. Instead it provides a context through which to balance the negative aspects of the experience against the potential for positive growth.

Employing Hope, Evidence-Based Therapies, and Resources

While it may seem counterintuitive, strength and weakness, joy and sorrow, triumph and struggle, and hope and despair can live side by side. These 3 steps may help you start on the path of healing:

1. Work to reframe the traumatic experience to allow for the positive to sit alongside the negative.

While you grieve a loss you can also recognize what you learned about yourself, who you have come to value in a new way, and how you can take advantage of the new opportunities that now lie ahead - opportunities that may include asking for support from loved ones, working on behalf of a cause you believe in or helping others in need by volunteering, or seeking help from a mental health professional.

2. Recognize and affirm the personal resources or strengths you brought to the situation.

You may be able overcome the negative impact of your trauma by relying on strengths you never thought you possessed or had to use before, such as courage, prudence, patience, trust in others, and hope. Often it is the decisions you made at the time of the traumatic event using resources such as courage or prudence that guided you and helped you survive. That’s why you should focus on them. These strengths served you well and knowing you can call upon them again if needed can help you feel less vulnerable and provide you with a sense of personal control—an important feature of healing.

3. Give yourself permission to heal.

The emotional aftermath of trauma can temporarily plunge you into a new world with unclear rules and a fleeting sense of control. However, with time and the willingness to accept that significant positive growth can potentially take place in the aftermath of even the most horrific event, it is possible to heal. In short, make some room next to the post-traumatic stress for post-traumatic growth.

Let’s face it, life happens. There are days when life deals us bad breaks, ranging from small setbacks such as being stuck in traffic or missing out on a job promotion to life-changing and devastating losses like losing a job or loved one.

While we’re all vulnerable to life’s unexpected setbacks, daily hassles, and losses, what we can do is choose how to best respond to these events.

Not All Responses Are Created Equal

According to psychologist Martin Seligman, experiencing bad things in life does not put us at a disadvantage and drive us towards depression. What truly makes or breaks us is how we explain these bad things. Based on his team’s research, individuals who use an “optimistic explanatory style” to describe why bad events happen experience more positive moods, better physical health, reduced stress, and enhanced performance compared to those who use a more “pessimistic explanatory style”.

Fortunately, Seligman believes that this “optimistic explanatory style” can be learned through heightened awareness and conscious practice, which is why he named this process “learned optimism”. Contrary to popular opinion, learned optimism is NOT about focusing only on the good things in our lives while dismissing the bad things. Rather, learned optimism is acknowledging our struggles and explaining them in ways that boost self-control and promote self-change.

Specifically, how we manage the three P’s of learned optimism—permanence, pervasiveness, and personalization—determines how much perceived control we experience and how much we believe things can change for the better. It determines how resilient we become.

Permanence

Permanence refers to how changeable and long-lasting negative events seem to be. Individuals who default to a pessimistic explanatory style view bad events as largely unchangeable with no end in sight. An individual who fails to earn a promotion and thinks, “I’ll never get promoted; I always get passed over for good assignments” is exhibiting this pessimistic explanatory style. Individuals who adopt a more optimistic explanatory style respond by viewing such setbacks as temporary and changeable: “I didn’t get this promotion. I’ve been passed over this time. Next time might be different.”

Permanence Self-Talk Tip

Replace limiting and fatalistic self-talk language such as “always” and “never” with temporary and changeable phrases such as “this time” and “next time”. The word “can’t” is also limiting because it makes struggle seem unchangeable and permanent. Replace “can’t” with “not yet”.

For example, an employee stumbles nervously through a presentation to the board of directors. Learned optimism calls for replacing “I can’t speak in public” with “I haven’t yet gotten good at speaking in public.” This more optimistic shift in self-talk frames struggles as skills that can improve over time rather than permanent limitations.

Pervasiveness

Pervasiveness refers to how much one bad event in one area of life leaks into and pollutes other unrelated areas. In other words, how contagious do we allow bad events to be? Does a speeding ticket on the way home result in a “ruined night” of arguing with the spouse, punishing the kids, kicking the dog, and blaming it all on the ticket?

This contagious spreading of one negative event into other areas characterizes the pessimistic explanatory style. For example, a person who blows an important sales pitch catastrophizes that “I am just no good in this industry and don’t belong in this company.” Individuals who exercise an optimistic explanatory style respond by quarantining the failed deal to only poor sales skills, “I may not be good at sales, but I have the marketing and accounting skills to make it in this career.”

Pervasiveness Self-Talk Tip

Replace contagious and catastrophizing self-talk words such as “everything” and “nothing” with quarantining self-talk that stresses “this thing”.

For example, a couple argues over how money is being spent. The catastrophizing response, “I manage to screw everything up… I can’t do anything right” can be replaced with “I screwed this month’s budget up pretty badly”, which quarantines the error to just a spending problem.

Personalization

Personalization refers to how much an individual takes blame for bad events versus blaming external circumstances or poor execution. People who default to a pessimistic explanatory style see themselves as the sole reasons bad things happen. They shoulder inappropriate amounts of blame.

For instance, a supervisor fails to help a challenging employee resulting in that employee’s termination. The supervisor defaulting to a pessimistic explanatory style assumes complete blame and personalizes the bad result: “It’s all my fault. I ruined their life.”

The supervisor exercising an optimistic explanatory style identifies a substandard leadership skill or action as the culprit and recognizes that blame is shared: “I didn’t speak truth and engage in the hard conversations this staff member needed often enough, but he was formally reprimanded several times and still refused to change.”

Personalization Self-Talk Tip

Separate the performance from the performer by replacing “I” self-criticism with “My” self-criticism.

For instance, replace self-condemning phrases like “I stink” or “I’m brutal” with skill- or performance-critical phrases such as “my report stank” or “my communication with my team member was brutal”.

Learned Optimism and Leadership

Numerous studies conducted by Seligman and his research team highlight that practicing a more optimistic explanatory style during times of struggle produces improved physical and emotional health, enhanced workplace performance, and heightened personal resilience. Learned optimism is not just an internal set of principles and self-talk techniques to help better explain bad events in our own lives. It also can be a powerful lens-changing leadership tool.

As team leaders in the workplace and as spouses and parents in the household, we can use learned optimism techniques to improve the overall well-being of those we serve:

• As supervisors, we can reframe “Sorry boss, I always screw up this computer application” with encouragement and positive expectation – “You just haven’t figured out this application yet. Keep working at it.”
• As parents, we can de-catastrophize “I’m terrible at school” with a more targeted appraisal: “Your grades are generally good. You just need to spend a bit more time on math.”
• As a couple, we can reassure a spouse who states, “Why am I so stupid!?” by separating the performance from the performer. “You’re not at all a stupid person. You just made a poor choice. I’m sure an apology would clear up the misunderstanding.”

These three examples highlight the positive impact we can have as learned optimism lens changers for others.

We all play a role in supporting those around us who are going through a difficult time, managing a mental health condition, or experiencing a suicidal crisis.

So often, our families, friends, faith communities, and workplaces know what to do if someone is facing a physical health issue like cancer, surgery, or an injury—but we don’t always know how to be there for those going through a difficult time related to mental health, severe stress, or even a suicidal crisis. A person’s social network plays a key role is helping him or her manage stress during a crisis and strong, positive relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and others can help prevent suicidal behaviors and reduce social isolation, providing all of us an opportunity to help the people in our lives.

That said, while we don’t always know what we can do, a recent public opinion poll showed the vast majority of respondents (78%) wanted to learn more about what they could do to help someone who is thinking of suicide.

How You Can Help

The good news is that there are simple things we can all do to help. You don’t have to be a professional; no special training or certification is required, and you don’t even have to solve the situation. Instead, simple actions that demonstrate you care can make a difference for someone who is struggling.

Simple actions to remind someone they are not alone:

• Text a friend you are concerned about
• Ask a co-worker who is having a tough time at work to go for coffee or lunch
• Offer to help with daily tasks like errands and appointments when someone is going through a life transition such as the death of a loved one, divorce, deployment, job loss, or a financial crisis
• Offer to help schedule an appointment that may seem overwhelming to someone
• Ask someone who is struggling to meet you for a walk or to meet up at a community event
• Make a commitment to a friend to check in via text or a short visit on a regular basis
• Send a note to a friend letting them know you are thinking about them

Resources for Help

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, the Veterans Crisis Line, and the Crisis Text Line are valuable resources to share with anyone you are concerned about, but they are also a resource for you. Each service is available to provide guidance on how to reach out to support someone you are concerned about--whether that is a colleague at DHS, a friend, a family member, a neighbor, or anyone you think might be thinking of suicide.

Together, we can be there for the people in our lives and provide the support and encouragement they need.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and Veterans Crisis Line

1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line

Text HOME to 741741

You’re trying to finish a project that’s due by the end of the day. Your supervisor calls and wants you to check on the status of another group’s project.

Your mind has to switch gears and although this interruption may only take a few minutes, finding the momentum, the exact “place” you were in your thought processes on the project you were working on may take as long as 30 minutes. Not only that, but the interruption may also impact the quality of your work. Interruptions are a fact of life. We have come to expect them. But having your thought process interrupted while working is like leaving a television show mid-point and coming back to it in a few hours. You need to rewind to remind yourself of what was happening so the rest of the show makes sense.

How Collaboration Can Impede Flow and Reduce Productivity

An increasing number of work environments encourage or even require collaboration. Studies show that the more people there are involved in a project, the less shared responsibility and productivity. Anyone who remembers group projects from their high school years knows that in a group of four or five, one or two people did the bulk of the work.

One way to combat wasted time during collaborative work is to provide each team member or pair of members a specific task with a hard deadline. To ensure that each part of the project is progressing toward its deadline, team leaders can use check-ins and status reports to keep team members accountable for their time.

Screen Time and Brain Drain

Another source of interruptions that break the flow of concentration and productivity is non-work related screen time. Checking social media, the news, even playing games, such as Lumosity, designed to increase mental energy, are often drains on our mental energy and time. Some people even find it more difficult to resume a task after spending even a few minutes checking their social media, so limit your screen time at work to periods when you’re taking a defined break like during a meal break.

Strategies to Help You Stay Focused

You can take proactive steps to reduce the number of interruptions you face and improve your focus so you’re more productive, including:

• Block off focus time on your work calendar. Request all non-emergency calls be sent to voicemail.
• Request that co-workers send an email for issues that aren’t an emergency rather than stopping by to talk to you.
• Flag emails and set up task lists with alert notifications.
• If your office has a door, close it during times when y ou need uninterrupted focus.
• If you work in a cubicle listen to ambient noise through earphones to block distractions.
• Turn off notifications on your phone or use the Do Not Disturb setting during tasks that require your full attention and concentration.
• Take scheduled self-care breaks like meditating, deep breathing, or a short walk outside if possible to recharge your energy and focus. Can’t take a walk outdoors? Open a window or door and breathe in fresh air.
• Use a diffuser with essential oils that promote mental energy and focus, like peppermint, rosemary, or lemon.
• Take off your shoes and flex your feet and legs or take stand breaks. Standing once every 15-20 minutes increases blood and oxygen flow to the brain and throughout the body.
• Stay hydrated. Drink water, tea, or other clear, non-carbonated liquids.
• Reduce sugar and high carb foods. Instead, snack on protein and low sugar fruits throughout the day, which provide sustained energy.

Mental health is something many people take for granted, but to truly take care of yourself, you need effective strategies that focus on your mental health, just like you have strategies to keep your body in good health.

If you’re living with a mental health condition, you’re not alone. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIH), 31.1 percent of American adults experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives.

Stress Impacts Your Wellbeing

Stress can also have an impact on your mental wellbeing. The American Institute of Stress reports that as many as 77% of Americans experience physical complications as a result of stress, including high blood pressure, gastrointestinal problems, headaches, and skin conditions. In addition, approximately 73% of people in the country experience psychological complications, such as anxiety and depression.

7 Tips to Manage Stress and Improve Your Mental Wellness

Try A Few Stress Relief Techniques

Make it a priority to implement effective stress management techniques into your life. For example, deep breathing exercises only take about five minutes and have been shown to provide a positive effect on stress.

Mindfulness meditation is another technique you can try. It not only helps you cope better with your stress but may also help to reduce levels of stress hormones, which can increase your risk for health problems like high blood pressure. You can find mindfulness meditation classes at local yoga studios and community centers. There are also online mindfulness tutorials and apps that guide you through the practice. The best thing about mindfulness is that you can practice this relaxation technique anywhere, at any time. There’s no special equipment needed and you can do it on your own or with others.

Set Realistic Goals

People tend to be unrealistic when setting goals for themselves, which can increase their stress levels. Unrealistic goals can even lead to problems such as a lack of self-confidence, if you continuously fail to reach your goals. Instead, be realistic – set a range of goals that you know you can achieve today, this month, and within the next few years. There are many different tools that can help you with goal setting. It’s also helpful to revisit your goals every six to 12 months to check your progress and make sure the goals still make sense for you.

Avoid Alcohol and Cigarettes When You’re Stressed

Alcohol is a depressant and the use of alcohol when you’re under stress may increase your stress levels. Research studies also show that alcohol negatively affects cognitive performance, reducing concentration and even causing temporary memory loss. And smoking not only affects your body, it has also been linked to an increased risk of depression and anxiety.

Try Volunteering

Volunteering offers a good way to contribute to your local community and help others while increasing your self-confidence and positive feelings about yourself. It can also give you the chance to meet a couple of new friends and socialize, which is also good for reducing stress.

Get Some Exercise

Researchers have found that exercise offers a large number of benefits that have positive physical and mental effects. With moderate exercise, some people find that the symptoms of depression start to ease up and anxiety and stress become more manageable.

Make Sleep a Priority

Researchers have found that people need at least eight hours of sleep. When you do not get enough sleep, you are at risk of numerous adverse effects – many of which have to do with your mental health. Not getting enough sleep is linked to higher levels of stress, anxiety symptoms, and even depression.

Eat Healthy and Nutritious Meals

A lot of people don’t realize that what they eat has an effect on how they feel, psychologically speaking. Eating the right foods, which should include vegetables, fruits, protein, nuts, and other foods that are high in nutritional content, can actually help you feel less depressed and stressed and improve your mood.

Some good foods to try include:

• Whole grains, sweet potatoes, and oatmeal, which increase your serotonin levels (a hormone that boosts mood and reduces stress)
• Avocados, which contain omega-3 fatty acids and have been associated in studies lower levels of stress, anxiety, and improved concentration
• Citrus fruits and strawberries, which are rich in vitamin C and have been associated in some studies with reduced levels of anxiety
• Small amounts of dark chocolate, which reduce cortisol levels, a hormone associated with stress

Chronic stress from work, home, family, and money matters tends to build up and can cause both physical and mental health problems. With the right strategies in place, however, it’s possible to reduce the effects and lead a healthier life.