When your kids begin socializing online, you may want to talk to them about certain risks:

• Inappropriate conduct: The online world can feel anonymous. Kids sometimes forget that they are still accountable for their actions.
• Inappropriate contact: Some people online have bad intentions, including bullies, predators, hackers, and scammers.
• Inappropriate content: You may be concerned that your kids could find pornography, violence, or hate speech online.

You can reduce these risks by talking to your kids about how they communicate – online and off – and encouraging them to engage in conduct they can be proud of.

Talk Early and Often

The best way to protect your kids online? Talk to them. Research suggests that when children want important information, most rely on their parents.

Start early.

After all, even toddlers see their parents use all kinds of devices. As soon as your child is using a computer, a cell phone, or any mobile device, it's time to talk to them about online behavior, safety, and security. As a parent, you have the opportunity to talk to your kid about what's important before anyone else does.

Initiate conversations.

Even if your kids are comfortable approaching you, don't wait for them to start the conversation. Use everyday opportunities to talk to your kids about being online. For instance, a TV program featuring a teen online or using a cell phone can tee up a discussion about what to do — or not — in similar circumstances. And news stories about internet scams or cyberbullying can help you start a conversation about your kids’ experiences and your expectations.

Create an Honest, Open Environment

Kids look to their parents to help guide them. Be supportive and positive. Listening and taking their feelings into account helps keep conversation afloat. You may not have all the answers, and being honest about that can go a long way.

Communicate Your Values

Be upfront about your values and how they apply in an online context. Communicating your values clearly can help your kids make smarter and more thoughtful decisions when they face tricky situations.

Be Patient

Resist the urge to rush through conversations with your kids. Most kids need to hear information repeated, in small doses, for it to sink in. If you keep talking with your kids, your patience and persistence will pay off in the long run. Work hard to keep the lines of communication open, even if you learn your kid has done something online you find inappropriate.

The words kids write and the images they post have consequences offline.

Kids should post only what they’re comfortable with others seeing.

Some of your child's profile may be seen by a broader audience than you — or they — are comfortable with, even if privacy settings are high. Encourage your child to think about the language they use online, and to think before posting pictures and videos, or altering photos posted by someone else. Employers, college admissions officers, coaches, teachers, and the police may view your child's posts.

Remind kids that once they post it, they can't take it back.

Even if you delete the information from a site, you have little control over older versions that may exist on other people's computers and may circulate online.

Tell your kids not to impersonate someone else.

Let your kids know that it's wrong to create sites, pages, or posts that seem to come from someone else, like a teacher, a classmate, or someone they made up.

Help your kids understand what information should stay private.

Tell your kids why it's important to keep some things — about themselves, family members, and friends — to themselves. Information like their Social Security number, street address, phone number, and family financial information — say, bank account or credit card numbers — is private and should stay that way.

Talk to your teens about avoiding sex talk online.

Research shows that teens who don't talk about sex with strangers online are less likely to come in contact with predators. In fact, researchers have found that predators usually don't pose as children or teens, and most teens who are contacted by adults they don't know find it creepy. Teens should not hesitate to ignore or block them.

Politeness counts.

You teach your kids to be polite offline; talk to them about being courteous online as well. Texting may seem fast and impersonal, yet courtesies like "pls" and "ty" (for please and thank you) are common text terms.

Tone it down.

Using all caps, long rows of exclamation points, or large bolded fonts are the online equivalent of yelling. Most people don't appreciate a rant.

Cc: and Reply all: with care.

Suggest that your kids resist the temptation to send a message to everyone on their contact list.

Use privacy settings.

Many social networking sites and chat rooms have adjustable privacy settings, so you can restrict who has access to your kids’ profiles. Talk to your kids about the importance of these settings, and your expectations for who should be allowed to view their profile.

Set high privacy preferences on your kids' chat and video chat accounts, as well. Most chat programs allow parents to control whether people on their kids' contact list can see their status, including whether they're online. Some chat and email accounts allow parents to determine who can send messages to their kids, and block anyone not on the list.

Create a safe screen name.

Encourage your kids to think about the impression that screen names can make. A good screen name won't reveal much about how old they are, where they live, or their gender. For privacy purposes, your kids' screen names should not be the same as their email addresses.

Review your child's friends list.

You may want to limit your children's online "friends" to people they actually know.

Know what your kids are doing.

Get to know the social networking sites your kids use so you understand their activities. If you're concerned about risky online behavior, you may want to search the social sites they use to see what information they're posting. Are they pretending to be someone else? Try searching by their name, nickname, school, hobbies, grade, or community.

Ask your kids who they’re in touch with online.

Just as you want to know who your kids' friends are offline, it's a good idea to know who they're talking to online.

Encourage your kids to trust their guts if they have suspicions.

Encourage them to tell you if they feel threatened by someone or uncomfortable because of something online. You can then help them report concerns to the police and to the social networking site. Most of these sites have links for users to report abusive, suspicious, or inappropriate behavior.

Technology has changed the way we interact with each other. Social media puts other people just keystrokes away. This helps some feel like they have more social support. But for others, it can increase isolation and depression.

Researchers are investigating how social media affects mental health. They’re learning that who you meet and what you find online can mean the difference between helpful and harmful effects.

Use Your Time Wisely

Logging into social media can lead you in many directions. Actively engaging and connecting with others online can help build your social supports—both online and offline. But spending many hours passively scrolling through upsetting content can send you spiraling into negative thoughts and feelings.

Increased social media use has been linked to symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress. But it’s not always clear which comes first: Is more time online causing the symptoms or a result of the symptoms?

Depression or anxiety can cause you to isolate yourself. Spending more time online may be a sign that you’re withdrawing from others.

Studies have also found that some online activities can worsen your mental health. Passively watching what others are doing online can make you feel more isolated. You might feel you’re missing out or being left out. Or it can make you think that other people have better lives than you.

What you click on then affects what you see next. If you click on things that bother you, you’re likely to be shown more of those things. Repeated scrolling through disturbing content can increase your stress and anxiety.

Teens are especially at risk from the effects of social media. Studies have found links between patterns in teens’ social media use and mental health problems.

“There has been a growth in social media use, smartphone use, and teens’ lives being online over the last 10 years,” says Dr. Katherine Keyes at Columbia University. Rates of teen depression and suicide also rose over the past 10 years. Researchers have been looking at social media’s role in that increase.

Keyes’s studies have shown that digital media use alone doesn’t account for these recent rises in depression and suicide. Other factors must also play a role. More research is needed to figure out what those are.

What seems most important is how teens are using social media and how their time online is affecting their offline social networks and activities, Keyes says.

In other words, time online takes away from time you could be spending with others, being physically active, or doing a hobby. These are things that help protect your mental health.

Connect Carefully

You can find countless different people and communities online. “Many meaningful and beneficial connections can be made online,” says Keyes. “This is especially true for teens who have more marginalized identities. Sometimes they can find community and connectivity online that they can’t get in their day-to-day lives.”

But the digital world can also expose you to harmful health behaviors. Excessive drinking, substance use, and eating disorders are sometimes misleadingly shown as what everyone’s doing or wants to do.

People also see ads about tobacco use, cannabis use, and drinking online. Dr. Patricia Cavazos-Rehg at Washington University in St. Louis studies the effects of ads on teen substance use. Her research has shown that even passively viewing tobacco content online increased the likelihood of using tobacco products. Keyes found similar trends for alcohol and cannabis.

“My concern is that social media can make substance use behaviors seem normal,” Cavazos-Rehg explains. That can affect both teens and adults.

“We’ve seen a lot of messages online about ‘wine-mom’ culture that link alcohol use with ‘mommy needs a break at the end of the day,’” Keyes says. “These messages link alcohol with positive self-care.” But using alcohol to manage stress is not a healthy coping strategy. In recent years, women have had a higher increase in alcohol use than men.

Cavazos-Rehg is researching ways to deliver information about the risks of substance use on social media. She’s also looking at how to get quality treatment information to people talking about mental health issues and substance use online.

Seek Out Help

Social media can be a tool to improve your mental health. You can search for health information, hear about others’ experiences, or find treatment options.

“We have found that social media can be very helpful for people who are feeling stigmatized about in-person recovery,” Cavazos-Rehg says. “Plus, social media can help those who are curious or ready to engage in treatment but want advice from their online peers first.”

Her team looked at what prevents people with symptoms of depression from seeking treatment. They found that many people worry about being stigmatized. Others have trouble accessing or paying for treatment.

Her team is looking for ways to reduce those barriers through social media. They’ve created tools to identify social media posts that may indicate someone needs treatment for an eating disorder. They also created a treatment app for teens with eating disorders. The team is working to reach teens in need of treatment through online ads as well.

“There is a lot of support for recovery and for mental health that individuals can get off of social media,” says Cavazos-Rehg. “But there’s often misinformation that can spread as well.” 

Remember, you don’t need to struggle with mental health problems alone. “There’s a common misconception that we can handle our mental health problems on our own, and that they’re not severe enough to warrant medical care,” Cavazos-Rehg says. “But that’s a misconception.” Don’t hesitate to reach out to a health care provider or mental health professional.

Protect Your Mental Health

• Take care of your body and mind. Stick to a schedule, eat well, stay physically active, get quality sleep, stay hydrated, and spend time outside.
• Invest in healthy relationships. Socializing is a powerful buffer to stress and a source of well-being. Spend time with others regularly, in-person and virtually.
• Be intentional about your use of social media, video games, and other technologies. Ask yourself: How much time am I spending online? Is it taking away from healthy offline activities, like exercising, seeing friends, reading, or sleeping? What content do I see, and how does it make me feel?
• Learn to manage stress and other difficult emotions. Try to recognize situations that may be emotionally challenging and come up with strategies to manage those emotions.
• Ask for help. Find someone you trust to talk to about stressful situations. If you are struggling to manage negative emotions, reach out to a health care provider, counselor, or person you trust.
• Call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 if you or someone you know is in crisis.
• Get help finding substance use and mental health treatment in your area. Call the free National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit www.FindTreatment.gov.